Sports

Women Who Love Football And Beer Are What Separate America From The Terrorists

Is there anything more American than attractive women who love football and beer?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this subject ever since Cam Newton’s press conference hiccup with a female reporter, and I’ve come to the conclusion we need to be celebrating hot women who love football.

There’s no question that I’m on the record as being perhaps the biggest supporter of hot women’s rights. However, I never really spent a lot of time thinking about women in the world of football. I now know they are what separates us from the savages in ISIS.

ISIS forces women to cover up and live under oppression. Not here in America. In this amazing country women have the freedom to do a keg stand a second for every point on the scoreboard. That’s beautiful freedom if you ask me, and I’d suggest you book a plane ticket to Raqqa if you disagree.

I know that there’s some people who think women should stay out of the sports world. People who don’t know anything about sports should absolutely stay out of the sports world. That’s very true, but this doesn’t apply to all women. It also can apply to lots of men. It’s not fun watching a game with somebody who has to ask a question after every play. That’s just a fact.

However, you’re alright with me if you can shotgun a beer and then turn around a explain how play-action works. Those are the women that America should be promoting. How about we end the fat model bender this country has been on, and we start celebrating hot football fans who like to hammer Miller Lights? Isn’t that something we can all get behind in these decisive times?

As I always say, if there terrorists are against it then I’m automatically for it. There’s nothing the terrorists would hate more than a smoking hot woman cheering on a football team, wearing some “classy” game day attire and chasing a buzz.

God bless this beautiful country.

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