Sports

Kyrie Irving’s Relationship With LeBron James Resembles That Of A Scorned Lover

(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

Jena Greene Reporter
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There’s obviously no love lost after Kyrie Irving’s offseason move to the Boston Celtics this summer.

He rocked Cleveland when he asked to be traded, and tons of fans lost their minds. Especially since he’d just celebrated the NBA finals with the Cavs in 2016.

Some people are saying the trade went smoothly, but I beg to differ. Kyrie has been shading Lebron James and the rest of Cleveland since the day he left.

We all remember that electric First Take segment when Kyrie basically took a massive dump on Lebron’s chest.

Please people. Wake up. I’d seen this move coming for months. Lebron and Kyrie were a couple on the outs. Kyrie’s obviously the girlfriend and Lebron is that possessive boyfriend that you see yelling at his girlfriend in the middle of the club because she was talking to the bartender.

I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a million times. This was not a match made in heaven.

So when Kyrie finally got the confidence to break up with Lebron, he quickly became that newly single girl that is just so happy and totally better off. She’s waking up early to do yoga, she lost the relationship weight, she cut her hair, and she’s going on lots of meaningless dates just to get back at Lebron.

And she’s doing a lot of subtweeting in the hopes that he’ll notice. Exhibit A: Kyrie’s recent interview with The Charlotte Observer.

“It’s exciting to be back on the East Coast. It’s fast-paced. A lot of different cultures, food and people. You get it all, especially in Boston.You would go to Cleveland, and it would be at nighttime, and things would be going on, but you just see a vast difference. Boston, I’m driving in and (thinking), ‘I’m really playing in a real, live sports city.”

Oh Kyrie. I see what you’re doing here. There’s no disputing that Boston is definitely more live than Cleveland. But it doesn’t matter if you actually like it better. Because you just said it all. As soon as you even start to mention his name, you lose.

You become that newly single girl again, who’s out dancing with her girlfriends taking pulls out the bottle of Grey Goose. And mid-sip, she turns to her friends and says something along the lines of “I’m so much better than Lebron. This is way more fun than we would ever have together. We never had fun. I’m living a real, live, much better life.”

I already have my popcorn (and tissues) ready for October 17 when Lebron and Kyrie meet again at the Quicken Loans Arena. Can you say drama.