Taylor Swift recently released a new song called “Gorgeous,” and it’s an absolute hit.
There are plenty of reasons people like to use to justify their hatred of America’s sweetheart, and most of them are really stupid. People hate success, they hate those they’re envious off and they hate attractive blonde women. I don’t know why, but lots of people just are that way.
The hate cycle fired up immediately after her release of “Gorgeous,” and I’m here to tell the world that anybody who claims to hate the song is lying. It might be the definition of a banger. There is no way you can listen to song and not love. It’s just not humanely possible.
I might also be a little biased because there is a legitimate chance this song is about me. Let’s break down some of the lyrics.
Evidence point one:
You should take it as a compliment
That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk
You should think about the consequence
Of your magnetic field being a little too strong
There are always women at parties that make fun of my Wisconsin accent. Are we sure Swift meant a Wisconsin accent with this line? I don’t know, but we obviously can’t rule it out.
Evidence point two:
You’re so gorgeous
I can’t say anything to your face
‘Cause look at your face
And I’m so furious
At you for making me feel this way
But, what can I say?
You’re gorgeous
I always have a hard time getting women to talk to me at parties, and I’d like to believe my crystal blue eyes just make women nervous. Perhaps it’s my rugged facial hair. I honestly have no idea, but I’d like to live in a world where I can convince myself that the Taylor Swifts of the world are nervous about my dashing good looks.
Evidence point three:
Ocean blue eyes looking in mine
I feel like I might sink and drown and die
OK, I’m sold. I already floated the blue eyes theory, and now she’s openly singing about it. Maybe the blue eyes line isn’t enough by itself, but what about this situation when it’s all added up? It seems like Taylor Swift might be a fan of a little Hookstead magic. Don’t worry, I’m a big fan of hers too. I just never expected that I might have inspired her to write an entire song about me.