Editorial

Surprise! People Are Upset About The Super Bowl Halftime Performer

Last night, the NFL confirmed that Justin Timberlake will be this year’s Super Bowl LII halftime show in Minneapolis.

That’s a fine choice, right? Nothing too polarizing about Justin Timberlake. He’s just a regular dude who happens to be equally talented at golf, acting, and singing. Should be a good time.

Wrong. This is 2017, and we can’t have nice things. It took no less than 5 milliseconds for the internet to find something offensive about Justin Timberlake.

Everybody here is referencing Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction 14 years ago. The incident resulted in a lifetime ban for Jackson and forced the FCC to mandate a 5 second broadcasting delay for all live performances.

Defenders of the diva claim Timberlake caused the malfunction and should be banned as well. Of course, nobody has really minded Timberlake in the 14 years leading up to today. He’s been nominated for and won literally dozens of awards for singing and acting.

This seems like an excuse for people to complain that Janet Jackson isn’t performing because of sexism, racism, etc. Not because it’s been nearly two decades since she’s released any relevant hits, but because the world is an awful place filled with nothing but bigotry. At this point I could write the narrative myself.