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Hippies Hold Seance To Summon Communist Founder

Two journalists used an Ouija board to try summoning the spirit of Karl Marx Thursday, seeking solace from the alleged horror of capitalism.

The two women, identified as Callie and Sarah, used the Ouija board as part of a Halloween themed Facebook Live video for Broadly, a women’s news publication of Vice that reports “Sex, politics, culture, witchcraft. Women’s news you thought would exist by now.” Sarah and Callie, who have both dabbled in occult practices, used the segment to explore witchcraft and bemoan capitalism, admonishing their viewers that there was still time to “seize the means” and that the spirit of Marx was needed.

“And I think the spookiest thing of all is capitalism, personally,” Sarah said. “Like, that’s what terrifies me in my core late at night.”

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The pair said they debated about which dead spirit they should try to contact in their seance, considering at first Princess Diana before settling on Marx, the founder of communism, as they believed he could counter what is, according to them, the terror of capitalism.

“I think he’s necessary. Now more than ever,” Sarah said.

Sarah’s praise of both witchcraft and communism, and the attempt to use spiritualist practices to contact the disembodied, ethereal spirit of Marx is ironic, given the fact that Marx promoted materialism and railed against religion.

“The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness,” Marx wrote. “To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions. The criticism of religion is, therefore, in embryo, the criticism of that vale of tears of which religion is the halo.”

The occultists did not succeed in contacting Marx, but believed that they contacted an inhuman spirit which declined their request to give a message to today’s Democratic Party and refused to say whether it liked Bernie Sanders. The alleged spirit displayed an affinity for consonants and did not help the occultists spell out any discernible words.

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