Kim Kardashian rolled out what she does best this week — overhyped nonsense that somehow rakes in millions.
This time it was her new fragrance line, Crystal Gardenia, Crystal Gardenia Oud and Crystal Gardenia Citrus. The line is inspired by her Paris robbery (she couldn’t not capitalize on the media frenzy) and dropped 300,000 units on its release.
Tomorrow my new perfume launches on https://t.co/eAGj098U38 #CrystalGardeniaCitrus #garednia #pinkjasmine #orangeoil #purplepassionfruit #rose pic.twitter.com/ahigNEDLLB
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) November 14, 2017
According to TMZ, if all the bottles sold, Kim would have made about $14 million.
But that didn’t happen. When her fragrance hit shelves Wednesday, Kim only made $10 million. And quite frankly, I’m just not very impressed.
There are certain things in my life that need to remain constant so as to avoid total chaos. The sun rises every day. The sky is blue. Kim Kardashian makes and spends tons of money.
Kim K needs to be larger than life in order for my world to keep turning. The $13 million wedding to Kanye. The $8 million ring. The $3,000 per night skincare routine. The Bentleys, the Range Rovers, the private jets to Paris and Costa Rica.
So imagine my horror when I found out she didn’t make the full $14 mil Wednesday. How embarrassing. That’s not the Kim K I know. The Kim K I know has an arsenal of handbags she’ll never use and stays in middle-class houses for artistic appeal.
So now she wants to slack off and only pull $10 million in one day? Unacceptable. It just won’t do. She might as well lose her curves and throw in the towel. The Kardashian brand as we know it is gone. Game over for everyone.