I have come to the conclusion that the opening scene from season three of “Eastbound & Down” is the definition of television gold.
My coworkers, fellow titans of industry and myself were sitting around the office today discussing television show, and it didn’t take long for this scene to get brought up. Why wouldn’t it be mentioned? “Eastbound & Down” is arguably the greatest television achievement of our time.
This scene really stands out to me. Kenny Powers just rolls up the beach with a Confederate flag and marijuana boogie board, tries to shreds some waves and pulls a knife on a kid for doing absolutely nothing. If that doesn’t sum up “Eastbound & Down” then I don’t know what possibly could.
Imagine being such a prude that you don’t find this show hilarious. That’s not a life I’d ever want to live. That life must be one of darkness, coldness and a soul empty of humor.
Here’s another tip for all the guys out there. Run from any woman out there who doesn’t like this show. It’s a bigger red flag than owning a bunch of cats. I love cat ladies when they’re compared to women who hate “Eastbound and Down.”
I had a short relationship with a woman in college (I was a bit skinnier and better looking back then), and I desperately tried to get her into this show. She refused at every corner. Dodged the biggest bullet of my life. Take my advice before you have to live my experiences. I’m looking out for all of you.