Sports

Turns Out They’re Actually Going To Have March Madness Without Wisconsin Playing

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David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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Well, it looks like March Madness is actually going to go forward without the Wisconsin Badgers in it.

I don’t know about you guys, but I honestly believed that the tournament might have to be called off after Wisconsin failed to get a bid.

After all, how can you have a 19-year streak, and then play the tournament without that school? It’s blasphemy by just about every metric.

I know what you’re all probably thinking right now. You’re probably thinking that most men would curl up into a little ball and start crying if their team didn’t make it. They’d probably wish for the sweet kiss of death.

Well, I have some news for all of you. I’m not like most men. Not even close. I’m David Hookstead, and I’m as mentally strong as a pissed off ox is physically strong. They want to play the tournament without us? Fine. They can do their thing however they want.

We’ll be back and stronger than ever. Keep us out this year, and we’ll bounce back with a vengeance next year. It’s going to be brutal. Pray for our enemies because they have no idea what is about to hit them.

I knew that the day would finally come when we missed the tournament. Every man will have a battle in his life and he will lose that battle. This Wisconsin season was my battle, and I lost it.

Keep doubting us because it’ll only be the critics who look dumb in the end.

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