The Mirror

Washingtonian Bizarrely Threatens To Break Up With Me

Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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What kind of magazine lashes out at its readers?

That would be Washington’s Washingtonian Mag. The powers that be appear to not like it when you stop reading them.

So on a relaxing Sunday I received this:

“Is this the end?” the missive began in bold black.

Apparently Washingtonian is overly sensitive that I haven’t opened their emails as of late. (Wait….have I ever opened their emails?)

Suddenly Washingtonian acted like we’re in a romantic relationship and threatened to end us in the most impersonal of ways over email — what the hell?

“You haven’t opened a Washingtonian newsletter in a while, and we can take a hint! If you are you breaking up with us, please let us know by unsubscribing here* (but we’ll miss you!).”

My God. Such drama.

“Willing to make up with us?” Washingtonian, my lover (??), continued. “Click the button below and specify your preferences so we can keep you happy and ‘open’ to us—pun intended!”

Feeling threatened, I did make up with Washingtonian.

But honestly, only to mock them.

Who sends an email like this?