Jim Treacher
Blogger

DC Restaurant Announces ‘Pill Cosby’ Cocktail, Everybody Freaks Out

Bill Cosby departs the Montgomery County Courthouse after a preliminary hearing in Norristown, Pennsylvania, U.S. on May 24, 2016.  REUTERS/Matt Rourke/Pool

Man, these days you can't even sell a joke cocktail mocking an alleged serial rapist without everybody throwing a fit!

Sea Lion Attacks Little Girl

3:52 PM 05/22/2017

There are two things I hate more than anything in the world: 1) Animals. 2) Canada. Put them together and it's a recipe for disaster.

Islam Muslim green star and crescent (Getty Images)

#NotAllMuslims Shoot Neo-Nazi Roommates For Insulting Islam

1:33 PM 05/22/2017

Remember when you were glad 2016 was over, because at least it wasn't 2016 anymore? Remember how young and naive you were?

Stephen Colbert issues a job application that may require over 30 pages of free work (youtube)

Stephen Colbert: Trump Is A ‘Redolent Turd’

11:14 AM 05/22/2017

On Nov. 8, 2016, Showtime aired a live election night special with Stephen Colbert. The idea was to celebrate the end of Donald Trump's candidacy and the beginning of the Hillary Era. It was going to be a welcome relief after such a grueling presidential campaign. It was going to be so much fun. Of course, there was just one small problem...

POLL: What Is THE ORB?

9:00 AM 05/22/2017

In accordance with prophecy, President Trump touched THE ORB. He paid obeisance to THE ORB. He became one with THE ORB. What is THE ORB, and how has its strange and unknowable power changed us all?

Ahmed Mohamed, 14, the Texas teenager who was arrested after bringing a homemade electronic clock to school, during the second White House Astronomy Night on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington October 19, 2015. (REUTERS/Joshua Roberts)

Ahmed ‘Clock Boy’ Mohamed Gets Laughed Out Of Court Again

2:20 PM 05/19/2017

Cool crock, Ahmed! Your bomb hoax scored you an invitation to the White House and a media tour and a bunch of other perks, but now that the party's over and everybody has moved on to other victims of fake Islamophobia, it might be time for your family to find another way to make money.

Screenshot.

The Five (Things I’ll Miss Most About Bob Beckel)

1:53 PM 05/19/2017

Fox News Channel's on-again, off-again relationship with America's favorite check-writer Bob Beckel is off again. He just got fired for the second time. Some people don't like him because he mumbles a lot of stupid things, but he's not all bad. Nobody is! So here are the five (get it?) things I'll miss most about ol' Bob:

POLL: Who Would’ve Won A Joe Biden/Donald Trump Matchup?

11:26 AM 05/19/2017

Now Joe Biden is out there saying he would've been a better candidate than Hillary Clinton. Maybe you agree with him that, considering what happened, pretty much anybody would've been a better candidate than Hillary. Or maybe you think Trump is stronk like bull and nobody could've defeated him. But if these two had faced off, which serial grabber of women would've won? This calls for yet another 100% scientifically binding Internet poll!

Anthony Weiner To Plead Guilty To Being A Big Ol’ Perv

9:32 AM 05/19/2017

It's a sign of the times that I'm actually relieved to see Anthony Weiner back in the headlines. Finally, a story I understand. Something I can wrap my head around. Maybe I should rephrase that.

Richard Rojas is escorted from the 7th precinct by New York City Police officers after being processed in connection with the speeding vehicle that struck pedestrians on a sidewalk in Times Square in New York City, U.S. May 18, 2017. REUTERS/Stephanie Keith

New Video Shows Times Square Maniac Richard Rojas Preparing To Strike

8:01 AM 05/19/2017

The initial reports about Richard Rojas, the driver who mowed down all those people in Times Square yesterday, indicated that he may have been drunk or fleeing a robbery or both. I got the impression that he might not have intended to hurt or kill people. But after watching this video, it sure as hell looks deliberate to me.

              Cobie Smulders, from left, Allison Janney, and Anna Faris arrive at the 65th Primetime Emmy Awards at Nokia Theatre on Sunday Sept. 22, 2013, in Los Angeles.  (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

‘Mom’ Helps Prospective Moms Avoid Becoming Moms

8:12 PM 05/18/2017

I've never seen the show Mom, but apparently it's a sitcom about a young single mother who lives with her own mother. She has a teenage daughter, who is herself a young mother. It's three moms under one roof. So, it only makes sense that the people who bring you the show also want to kill as many babies as they possibly can.

A police officer chases a protester, in this still image captured from a video footage, during a violent clash outside the Turkish ambassador's residence between protesters and Turkish security personnel during Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan's visit to Washington, DC, U.S. on May 16, 2017.   Courtesy Armenian National Committee of America/Handout via  REUTERS

Did Erdogan Order His Bodyguards To Attack Those Protesters?

6:02 PM 05/18/2017

Recep Erdogan is a scumbag tyrant, and I don't like that he's hanging out with the President of the United States. I especially don't like that people who protest him on U.S. soil keep getting beat up. It happened last year, and again this week. But is Erdogan directly ordering his bodyguards to do that?

A New York City Fire Department (FDNY) emergency worker rushes to a scene in Times Square after a speeding vehicle struck pedestrians on the sidewalk in New York City, U.S., May 18, 2017. REUTERS/Mike Segar

Never Assume A Driver Will Respect Your Right Of Way As A Pedestrian

1:27 PM 05/18/2017

You only have the right of way up until the moment somebody behind the wheel decides he's more important than you are.

Roger Ailes

Roger Ailes, R.I.P.

9:01 AM 05/18/2017

Breaking news this morning:

FILE PHOTO: A man is silhouetted against a video screen with a Facebook logo as he poses with a Samsung S4 smartphone in this photo illustration August 14, 2013. REUTERS/Dado Ruvic/File Photo

You’ll Never Guess How Facebook Is Reducing THIS Annoying Practice

8:52 AM 05/18/2017

Namely: Clickbait! (See what I did there?)

Joss Whedon participates in MTV Total Registration Live at MTV Studios on September 27, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Brian Ach/Getty Images for MTV)

Joss Whedon Helps Planned Parenthood Celebrate 100 Years Of Dead Babies

8:30 PM 05/17/2017

Baldy the Vodka Slayer has done it again! He took a quick break from losing his mind about Trump on Twitter to direct this PSA for Planned Parenthood. If you're an abortion enthusiast, Joss shows you a scary dystopia where you can't kill your baby on demand at taxpayer expense:

Pepes Photoshopped By Mike Raust

A History Of Pepe The Frog, In 10 Minutes

5:30 PM 05/17/2017

Before Pepe the Frog became a symbol for alt-right creeps and anime Nazis and other repellent slimeballs, he was just a goofy cartoon character in a comic book about anthropomorphic animals who smoke weed. What the hell happened? Why does the Internet have to ruin everything?

U.S. Vice President Mike Pence speaks prior to President Trump signing an executive order reviewing previous National Monument designations made under the Antiquities Act, at the Interior Department in Washington, U.S., April 26, 2017. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

POLL: If Trump Is Removed From Office, Who Should Become President?

3:29 PM 05/17/2017

I don't know if Trump is going to be impeached and kicked out of the White House, and neither do you, and neither does anybody else. But it's best to be prepared. If it happens, who should slide right into the Oval Office?

U.S. President Barack Obama (R) greets President-elect Donald Trump at inauguration ceremonies swearing in Trump as president on the West front of the U.S. Capitol in Washington, U.S. REUTERS/Carlos Barria

Obama On Trump: ‘He’s Nothing But A Bullsh-ter’

11:45 AM 05/17/2017

I hope you're sitting down for this: The 44th President of the United States doesn't have anything nice to say about his successor.

U.S. soldier Bradley Manning is escorted into court to receive his sentence at Fort Meade in Maryland August 21, 2013. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Traitor And Genetic Male Bradley Manning Freed From Prison

8:39 AM 05/17/2017

He. Him. His. Facts don't change when you change a pronoun. Science doesn't work that way. Bradley Manning is not a woman, he never will be, and anybody who tells you otherwise is a science denier.