Jim Treacher

BREAKING: Steve Bannon Doesn’t Like Paul Ryan

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) speaks during a press briefing on Capitol Hill in Washington, U.S., May 23, 2017.   REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

I really, really miss Andrew Breitbart.

Muppet Kermit the Frog poses for photos after ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange March 17, 2014. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

Why Did They Fire Kermit The Frog?

12:24 PM 07/18/2017

Well, specifically, why did they fire the guy who's been portraying Kermit the Frog since Jim Henson's death in 1990? It's not easy not being green anymore.

Justine Damond, also known as Justine Ruszczyk, from Sydney, is seen in this 2015 photo released by Stephen Govel Photography in New York, U.S., on July 17, 2017.   Courtesy Stephen Govel/Stephen Govel Photography/Handout via REUTERS

Muslims Fear Backlash After Minneapolis Cop Shoots Australian Woman

9:00 AM 07/18/2017

Whenever a police officer shoots a civilian under questionable circumstances, one question looms large: How can our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters frame the narrative to advance liberal agenda items? When a white cop shoots a black person, of course that's racism. When a black cop shoots a black person, then that's institutionalized racism. But what if it's a black Muslim cop shooting a white person?

Getty Images/ KMazur

POLL: Pick A Slogan For Kid Rock’s Senate Campaign

5:00 PM 07/17/2017

Kid Rock may or may not be running for U.S. Senate. It may or may not be some sort of joke or publicity stunt or shared hallucination. After the events of the past couple of years, there's really no way to say for certain. But if he is, he's going to need a slogan. Let's help him out!

Lauren Duca YouTube screenshot/Mar F

Lauren Duca Gets Revenge On Tucker Carlson Or Something

2:54 PM 07/17/2017

You may or may not know who Lauren Duca is. If not, you really aren't missing anything. If so, here is the one and only reason you know who she is:

New York, NY USA - February 1, 2017: Bill Nye attends the blue jacket fashon show in support for prostate cancer awarness during New York Fashion week at Pier 59 Editorial credit: lev radin / Shutterstock.com

Bill Nye The Butt-Stuff Guy Gets Emmy Nomination

12:44 PM 07/17/2017

Earlier this year, Netflix debuted a show modestly titled Bill Nye Saves the World. On this show, noted scientist mechanical engineer and sketch comedian Bill Nye awkwardly spouted liberal propaganda in front of panels of guests who agreed with him. If you're skeptical that he really saved the world by doing this, stop and take a look around you. See that? It's the world. You're welcome.

Islam Muslim green star and crescent (Getty Images)

#NotAllMuslims Riot, Assault Women At German Town Festival

11:20 AM 07/17/2017

This blog post is racist, because noticing when the same thing keeps happening over and over and over again is racist. It makes you an alt-right Nazi and so forth. Sexual assault is a very serious matter... right up until the moment it starts causing cognitive dissonance.

Americans Are Sick Of Trump’s Tweeting, And It Doesn’t Matter

8:46 AM 07/17/2017

I don't like Donald Trump's tweeting habits. I don't like a lot of the other stuff he does either. I don't find the behavior that he calls "MODERN DAY PRESIDENTIAL" to be presidential at all. But I've also been paying attention for the past couple of years, and here's a little something I've noticed: It doesn't really matter what I like and don't like.

LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 11:  Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor stand face to face during the Floyd Mayweather Jr. v Conor McGregor World Press Tour at Staples Center on July 11, 2017 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

POLL: Who’ll Win, Mayweather Or McGregor?

3:26 PM 07/14/2017

Everybody's talking about next month's historic boxing match between undefeated world champion Floyd Mayweather and that Irish guy with the big mouth. It'll be Conor McGregor's very first professional boxing match, but Mayweather is 40 years old. Who will win on August 26?

FILE - In this Dec. 8, 2012, file photo, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, center, joined by wife Ann, right. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson, File)

Former Obama Speechwriter: Okay, So Mitt Was Right About Russia After All

1:58 PM 07/14/2017

I'd care a lot more about this Russia stuff right now if our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters had cared more about Russia over the past decade. They openly scoffed at the idea that Vladimir Putin isn't a friend of America. They mocked Mitt Romney for recognizing Russia as a threat. They didn't just ignore Russia; they gleefully shamed anybody who paid any attention to Russia. And it was all fine with them until they started losing elections. Then they wanted us to forget how they laughed at our warnings.

Caption This: Bill Clinton And The Bush Statues

12:03 PM 07/14/2017
French President Emmanuel Macron shakes hands with U.S. President Donald Trump as U.S. First Lady Melania Trump looks on before the traditional Bastille Day military parade on the Champs-Elysees in Paris, France, July 14, 2017. At L, French Prime Minister Edouard Philippe.  REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes

Trump And Macron Shook Hands For A Really Long Time, And CNN Is On It

10:44 AM 07/14/2017

Trump has that weird handshake he does sometimes. You know, the one where he grabs the guy's hand and pumps it like a pinball plunger. Sometimes, if he's feeling particularly #MAGA that day, he'll throw in a couple of hand-pats. Whether it's a power move or just Trump being the awkward weirdo he is, we all know that he does this. It's been commented on at great length. It's not new.

Emma Sulkowicz, a senior visual arts student at Columbia University, carries a mattress in protest of the university's lack of action after she reported being raped during her sophomore year on September 5, 2014 in New York City. (Andrew Burton/Getty Images)

Columbia University Settles Suit Filed By Victim Of Mattress Girl

9:00 AM 07/14/2017

It's 2017, and we should all #BelieveWomen. If a woman claims she was sexually assaulted, that's that. The accusation serves as its own proof. If you show any skepticism or ask any questions about it, you're a rape denier and you hate women.

Watch These Animal-Rights Idiots Berate Some Guys For Fishing Legally

5:00 PM 07/13/2017

Does yelling at people for eating meat and fish ever actually work? Does it ever convince anybody? I know that whenever I see something like the following, it just makes me hungrier for delicious, nutritious animal flesh. Mmm-mmm-murder!

Obama Getty Images/Chip Somodevilla

POTUS Objectifies Older Woman By Commenting On Her Looks

2:46 PM 07/13/2017

What kind of man reduces a woman to nothing more than a collection of body parts? What kind of man thinks it's okay to give voice to his male gaze? What kind of man abuses his power to perpetuate rape culture? This kind of man.

Paul Ryan (Getty Images)

Sexist Woman-Hater Paul Ryan Wants Women To Show More Skin

12:44 PM 07/13/2017

Just kidding. I think? Irony is dead, along with my soul.

Actor Shia LeBeouf is pictured in Savannah, Georgia, U.S. in this July 8, 2017 handout photo. Chatham County Sheriff's Office/Handout via REUTERS

Shia LaBeouf Is Really Sorry About Everything, America

10:30 AM 07/13/2017

It's been quite a year for noted thespian and artbro Shia LaBeouf. He started 2017 by getting chased around the world by 4Chan kids in MAGA hats and Pepe masks. He attacked a guy for trolling him IRL, but the charges were dropped. He starred in a movie that sold exactly three tickets in the UK. He got kicked out of a bowling alley because they wouldn't serve him french fries. He's been having a really bad time.

The fluke of a sperm whale sticks out of the sea as it dives among other resting whales off the coast of Mirissa, in southern Sri Lanka, March 29, 2013. REUTERS/David Loh/File Photo

Man Saves Whale, Gets Killed By It

8:39 AM 07/13/2017

Here's a story about animals in Canada that I can't make any jokes about. It's just sad.

CNN's Alisyn Camerota and Chris Cuomo, Nov. 28, 2016. (Youtube screen grab)

POLL: How Do You Feel About Alisyn Camerota Quitting Twitter?

4:07 PM 07/12/2017

Earlier today, CNN morning anchor Alisyn Camerota dramatically announced her exit from Twitter, calling the social media platform "mean and verbally abusive" and "a cesspool of spleen-venting." What do you think about this development?

Tucker Carlson, Tariq Nasheed (Fox News)

Tariq Nasheed Has A Brand New Site With A Familiar Logo

2:13 PM 07/12/2017

I don't tend to pay much attention to Tariq Nasheed, because there are much smarter and more effective black-supremacist racebaiters out there. He's just a poor man's Marc Lamont Hill. He's a fifth-rate DeRay. But this is too good not to share.