Blog - DC Trawler
Well, specifically, why did they fire the guy who's been portraying Kermit the Frog since Jim Henson's death in 1990? It's not easy not being green anymore.
Whenever a police officer shoots a civilian under questionable circumstances, one question looms large: How can our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters frame the narrative to advance liberal agenda items? When a white cop shoots a black person, of course that's racism. When a black cop shoots a black person, then that's institutionalized racism. But what if it's a black Muslim cop shooting a white person?
Kid Rock may or may not be running for U.S. Senate. It may or may not be some sort of joke or publicity stunt or shared hallucination. After the events of the past couple of years, there's really no way to say for certain. But if he is, he's going to need a slogan. Let's help him out!
You may or may not know who Lauren Duca is. If not, you really aren't missing anything. If so, here is the one and only reason you know who she is:
Earlier this year, Netflix debuted a show modestly titled Bill Nye Saves the World. On this show, noted
scientist mechanical engineer and sketch comedian Bill Nye awkwardly spouted liberal propaganda in front of panels of guests who agreed with him. If you're skeptical that he really saved the world by doing this, stop and take a look around you. See that? It's the world. You're welcome.
This blog post is racist, because noticing when the same thing keeps happening over and over and over again is racist. It makes you an alt-right Nazi and so forth. Sexual assault is a very serious matter... right up until the moment it starts causing cognitive dissonance.
I don't like Donald Trump's tweeting habits. I don't like a lot of the other stuff he does either. I don't find the behavior that he calls "MODERN DAY PRESIDENTIAL" to be presidential at all. But I've also been paying attention for the past couple of years, and here's a little something I've noticed: It doesn't really matter what I like and don't like.
Everybody's talking about next month's historic boxing match between undefeated world champion Floyd Mayweather and that Irish guy with the big mouth. It'll be Conor McGregor's very first professional boxing match, but Mayweather is 40 years old. Who will win on August 26?
I'd care a lot more about this Russia stuff right now if our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters had cared more about Russia over the past decade. They openly scoffed at the idea that Vladimir Putin isn't a friend of America. They mocked Mitt Romney for recognizing Russia as a threat. They didn't just ignore Russia; they gleefully shamed anybody who paid any attention to Russia. And it was all fine with them until they started losing elections. Then they wanted us to forget how they laughed at our warnings.
President Clinton at the George W. Bush Library tonight. pic.twitter.com/YcgCBoN3Ys
Trump has that weird handshake he does sometimes. You know, the one where he grabs the guy's hand and pumps it like a pinball plunger. Sometimes, if he's feeling particularly #MAGA that day, he'll throw in a couple of hand-pats. Whether it's a power move or just Trump being the awkward weirdo he is, we all know that he does this. It's been commented on at great length. It's not new.
It's 2017, and we should all #BelieveWomen. If a woman claims she was sexually assaulted, that's that. The accusation serves as its own proof. If you show any skepticism or ask any questions about it, you're a rape denier and you hate women.
Does yelling at people for eating meat and fish ever actually work? Does it ever convince anybody? I know that whenever I see something like the following, it just makes me hungrier for delicious, nutritious animal flesh. Mmm-mmm-murder!
What kind of man reduces a woman to nothing more than a collection of body parts? What kind of man thinks it's okay to give voice to his male gaze? What kind of man abuses his power to perpetuate rape culture? This kind of man.
Just kidding. I think? Irony is dead, along with my soul.
It's been quite a year for noted thespian and artbro Shia LaBeouf. He started 2017 by getting chased around the world by 4Chan kids in MAGA hats and Pepe masks. He attacked a guy for trolling him IRL, but the charges were dropped. He starred in a movie that sold exactly three tickets in the UK. He got kicked out of a bowling alley because they wouldn't serve him french fries. He's been having a really bad time.
Here's a story about animals in Canada that I can't make any jokes about. It's just sad.
Earlier today, CNN morning anchor Alisyn Camerota dramatically announced her exit from Twitter, calling the social media platform "mean and verbally abusive" and "a cesspool of spleen-venting." What do you think about this development?
I don't tend to pay much attention to Tariq Nasheed, because there are much smarter and more effective black-supremacist racebaiters out there. He's just a poor man's Marc Lamont Hill. He's a fifth-rate DeRay. But this is too good not to share.