Who knew switching two letters could be so dangerous?
Soccer hooligans are out of control
This is America, and we only have room for one football.
Ring around the goalie
Cruel and unusual punishment
And it ain’t soccer
Don’t kid yourself
83 percent of the winners after the group stage in Brazil wore lighter colors than their opponents.
‘Soccer fans have decided to prove me wrong about soccer being a fruity sport by spending the last week throwing hissy fits.’
‘Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.’
‘In a non-socialist, deeply American sport like soccer, low scores are a fair price to pay for decency and freedom.’
‘Soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer!’
How do they do that?!
First match to kick off with a flashy bionic suit, but what about all those strikes and murders?
Behold the spectacle of human achievement
Piers: ‘Revenge will be sweet’