Not that long ago, either. Just last September, MoveOn.org called this “the Elizabeth Warren quote everybody needs to see”:

Or: “Nice western civilization ya got here. It’d be a shame if somethin’… happened to it.” But hey, she’s okay with you keeping some of the government’s money that they let you earn. Isn’t that nice?

Finally, a Democrat who’s willing to be openly Marxist! Well, besides all the other ones.

But that was eight months and one delicious scandal ago. Now Massachusetts Dems are in the unenviable position of denying they’re going to ditch their candidate. Boston Herald:

Bay State Democrats are standing by their woman, saying they’re confident in embattled Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren — now three weeks into a persistent scandal over her claims of Native American heritage — though critics say she’ll arrive at her party’s state convention next month battered by it.

“This is a race that is a dead heat,” said state Democratic Party chairman John Walsh, citing a recent poll and insisting the flap has had no effect on Warren’s standing as the party’s front-runner. He said no one is talking about replacing her. “It’s not a sentiment that is out there at all.”

“The Democratic Party is really stuck,” countered University of New Hampshire political science professor Andrew Smith. “They essentially cleared the path for her as a candidate, and they can’t get rid of her now. She could conceivably drop out, but I doubt that will be the case, and I doubt the party will try to push her aside.”

Let’s hope not. This stuff is great!

Warren is probably pretty bummed these days, but there’s at least one wingnut who’s willing to pass the peace pipe. Take it away, Mary Katharine Ham!

(Hat tip: Hot Air)

Update: Thank you to Chris Debaillon for reminding me that Warren also took credit for creating Occupy Wall Street.

Elizabeth Warren is running for office in the most high-profile race in the country not involving Barack Obama. It’s a position that calls for some tact. So what does she think about the Occupy Wall Street protests that are roiling the country?

“I created much of the intellectual foundation for what they do,” she says. “I support what they do.”

Good! Keep right on doing that.

Fox News:

A North Carolina high school teacher was captured on video shouting at a student who questioned President Obama and suggesting he could be arrested for criticizing a sitting president.

The Salisbury Post, which first reported on the YouTube video, did not identify the teacher in question, who is reportedly on staff at North Rowan High School. The video does not show faces, but the heated argument in the classroom can clearly be heard…

The student argued that both candidates are “just men,” but the teacher took issue with the statement.

“He’s just a man. Obama is no god,” the student said.

The teacher responded: “Let me tell you something … you will not disrespect the president of the United States in this classroom.”

Well, we certainly can’t have students thinking for themselves.

Also, at the risk of redundancy: This post is racist.

It’s been a while since the Occupiers did anything stupid. Just kidding. But here’s one from yesterday. The Blaze reports:

A crowd of Occupy protesters in Chicago descended on Rush Limbaughs “office” Thursday to air their grievances about the conservative radio host.

The problem? Despite their references to “Rush’s office building” and “Rush Limbaugh’s studio,” they weren’t in the right place — not by more than 1,000 miles.

Yeah, but other than that!

Now apparently marching to Rush Limbaugh’s building #NATO #noNATO #ows twitter.com/mollyknefel/st…

— Molly Knefel (@mollyknefel) May 17, 2012

.@johnknefel and I are a little confused as to whether this is actually Rush’s office or just a station that airs him.

— Molly Knefel (@mollyknefel) May 17, 2012

So this is just a station that airs Rush. Either way people are airing their grievances. Fav: “He is a racist sexist piece of shit.”

— Molly Knefel (@mollyknefel) May 17, 2012

Indelibly expressed.

From WISN in Milwaukee, here’s the story of a man who’s been battered one time too many, has haddock enough, and now insists on a public herring:

There’s no question who’s in the right here. This gentleman paid for all the fish he could eat, and clearly he’s nowhere near being done eating fish. Do the right thing, Chuck’s Place.

(Hat tip: Ace of Spades)

When people make a lot of money, it’s not fair because they have more money than the rest of us do. So we have to tax the ever-loving $#!+ out of them. And if they decide they don’t want to be Americans anymore, we have to chase them down and go through their pockets.

ABC News:

Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., has a status update for Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin: Stop attempting to dodge your taxes by renouncing your U.S. citizenship or never come to back to the U.S. again.

In September 2011, Saverin relinquished his U.S. citizenship before the company announced its planned initial public offering of stock, which will debut this week. The move was likely a financial one, as he owns an estimated 4 percent of Facebook and stands to make $4 billion when the company goes public. Saverin would reap the benefit of tax savings by becoming a permanent resident of Singapore, which levies no capital gains taxes.

At a news conference this morning, Sens. Schumer and Bob Casey, D-Pa., will unveil the “Ex-PATRIOT” – “Expatriation Prevention by Abolishing Tax-Related Incentives for Offshore Tenancy” – Act to respond directly to Saverin’s move, which they dub a “scheme” that would “help him duck up to $67 million in taxes.”

The senators will call Saverin’s move an “outrage” and will outline their plan to re-impose taxes on expatriates like Saverin even after they flee the United States and take up residence in a foreign country. Their proposal would also impose a mandatory 30 percent tax on the capital gains of anybody who renounces their U.S. citizenship.

I’ve got another idea. I know it’s crazy, but hear me out:

Why don’t we make America a place where successful people want to live?

If you haven’t seen The Social Network, Sevarin is pretty much the only sympathetic character in the whole thing. Who knows how accurate that depiction is — Aaron Sorkin doesn’t seem to care — but if he’s anything like the guy in this scene, my favorite scene in the whole movie, this is far from over.

WARNING: SPOILERS, ADULT LANGUAGE, AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’S COMEUPPANCE

Sevarin says renouncing his citizenship has nothing to do with taxes. But if these guys want to make it about that, I get the feeling he’s not going to take it lying down.

I wonder how tough it is to make Chuck Schumer flinch?

1. It’s very embarrassing to CNN.
2. You don’t watch CNN.

TVNewser:

CNN Hits Lowest Primetime Demo Rating at 9 PM In 15 Years

Last night was a typical, boring Tuesday, with little earth-shattering news to drive TV viewers to cable news. It was also May sweeps, with the season finale of “NCIS: LA,” “America’s Got Talent” on NBC and “Dancing With the Stars” on ABC drawing an astonishing 39 million viewers between them at 9 PM.

Unfortunately for CNN, “Piers Morgan Tonight” was the apparent victim of the busy night, drawing only 39,000 viewers 25-54 at 9 PM. To say those ratings are anomalous would be something of an understatement. That is the lowest 9 PM weekday demo rating for CNN since at least 1997. While the ratings were an outlier, it was a fairly normal edition of “PMT,” with Morgan hosting. Guests included Jane Lynch and “The man with the golden voice” Ted Williams.

Morgan seems to be taking the bad news in stride. American TV bores him anyway. Lately he’s been more interested in his Twitter war with someone named Lord Sugar, who apparently stars in the British version of The Apprentice. Here’s Morgan’s latest salvo:

@Lord_Sugar Your Apprentice ratings are collapsing faster than the Greece economy, Shuggsy. Go back to making dodgy dishes.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 17, 2012

That would be “Greek,” not “Greece.” And Piers Morgan just went after somebody else for crappy ratings. It’s definitely more fun to watch than his show.

Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen all the polls and all the punditry about how nervous the Democrats are and how discombobulated the Obama campaign is. That’s all well and good. But for sheer entertainment value, this alone is worth all of that stuff put together:

What more do we want Obama to do for us? How about prosecuting the intelligence guys who led us to Bin Laden? Obama promised he’d do that, but for some reason that’s kinda fallen by the wayside. Oh, and Gitmo is still open. What’s up with that, Dave?

I like that America’s second-favorite philanderer is even crankier and even more brazenly partisan than usual. I like that nothing he’s been doing has been working. I like that Leno is still beating him night after night.

And I like the thought of how much worse his mood will be in another six months.

I haven’t watched Dave’s show in at least 5 years, by the way, so I don’t know if he’s told any jokes about Obama eating dogs. Ha ha, just kidding. He hasn’t.

As for Brian Williams: What, he’s gonna argue?

No heel-click, though. Poor form, Williams. One-point deduction.

Are either of those two facts relevant? Probably not. It’s undoubtedly racist to bring either one up. Oh well.

First up, Matt Gutman from ABC News:

A medical report compiled by the family physician of accused Trayvon Martin murderer George Zimmerman and obtained exclusively by ABC News found that Zimmerman was diagnosed with a “closed fracture” of his nose, a pair of black eyes, two lacerations to the back of his head and a minor back injury the day after he fatally shot Martin during an alleged altercation.

Zimmerman faces a second degree murder charge for the Feb. 26 shooting that left the unarmed 17-year-old high school junior dead. Zimmerman has claimed self defense in what he described as a life and death struggle that Martin initiated by accosting him, punching him in the face, then repeatedly bashing his head into the pavement.

Which is odd, considering that one of Gutman’s previous “exclusives” was that Zimmerman had no injuries. Which Gutman then contradicted with his next “exclusive,” without noting the reversal. No correction, no retraction, nothing. Apparently, that’s just how they do things at ABC News.

Meanwhile, WFTV in Orlando reports:

WFTV has confirmed that autopsy results show 17-year-old Trayvon Martin had injuries to his knuckles when he died…

WFTV has learned that the medical examiner found two injuries on Martin’s body: The fatal gunshot wound and broken skin on his knuckles.

Well, maybe it was post-mortem. There must be some way to make it fit everybody’s snap judgment. How about this: Before the cops got there, Zimmerman scraped the kid’s knuckles against the sidewalk and then punched himself in the face and slammed the back of his head on the ground a few times. Get on that, Gutman.

I still don’t know if what George Zimmerman did was justified or not, and neither does anybody reading this. But then, I’m not the one who leapt to conclusions without the benefit of evidence.

If you think Trayvon Martin’s bloody knuckles are more relevant than his bag of Skittles, #YouMightNotBeALiberal.

If you’re still bummed about Adam Yauch’s death, this might cheer you up:

According to the AV Club, that was done by a Portland filmmaker named James Winters, who enlisted his sons and nephews to pay tribute to the best Beastie Boys video ever. It was made long before they were born, but they nailed it.

I need to start this off with a confession: Sometimes I feel guilty about mocking Obama’s narcissism. It’s not like he can help it. It’s just who he is. It’s helped him attain the second-highest office in the free world, but it’s also a curse he can’t escape. Should I really keep making fun of him for it? Shouldn’t I give him a break already?

Then I see a story like this and all my doubts are swept away. Seth Mandel at Commentary writes:

The Heritage Foundation’s Rory Cooper tweeted that Obama had casually dropped his own name into Ronald Reagan’s official biography on www.whitehouse.gov, claiming credit for taking up the mantle of Reagan’s tax reform advocacy with his “Buffett Rule” gimmick. My first thought was, he must be joking. But he wasn’t—it turns out Obama has added bullet points bragging about his own accomplishments to the biographical sketches of every single U.S. president since Calvin Coolidge (except, for some reason, Gerald Ford).

Yep. This is a real thing that they really did. Here are just a few examples from the presidential biographies at WhiteHouse.gov (emphasis mine). Calvin Coolidge:

On Feb. 22, 1924 Calvin Coolidge became the first president to make a public radio address to the American people. President Coolidge later helped create the Federal Radio Commission, which has now evolved to become the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). President Obama became the first president to hold virtual gatherings and town halls using Twitter, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, etc.

FDR:

On August 14, 1935, President Roosevelt signed the Social Security Act. Today the Obama Administration continues to protect seniors and ensure Social Security will be there for future generations.

JFK:

President John F. Kennedy famously suggested the American people: “Ask what you can do for your country.” In 1961, the Peace Corps was created, facilitating service among citizens working toward peace in developing countries. In 2011, President Obama celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Peace Corps with a Presidential Proclamation.

Reagan:

President Reagan designated Martin Luther King Jr. Day a national holiday; today the Obama Administration honors this tradition, with the First and Second Families participating in service projects on this day.

In a June 28, 1985 speech Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multi-millionaire did not have a lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule.

Even the guy who calls Obama an “amateur” was just one of his opening acts:

Continuing his work as a lifelong public service, Clinton created the Clinton Foundation in 2001 to improve global health, education, economies and environments. Affectionately calling him “Do-Gooder-in-Chief”, President Obama has worked with Clinton to make buildings in our country more efficient—announcing a $4 billion investment in energy efficiency upgrades for commercial buildings.

All of American history was just prologue. How can any future president ever live up to Obama’s example?

So now, of course, #ObamaInHistory is trending on Twitter. Here’s some of the fun, courtesy of Twitchy:

On August 21, 1959 Hawaii became a state of the union so Obama would be eligible to be President. #ObamaInHistory

— Bethany Mandel (@bethanyshondark) May 15, 2012

General Eisenhower invaded Europe. Historians rank this as almost as audacious as Pres. Obama’s Bin Laden raid. #ObamaInHistory

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) May 15, 2012

Prometheus brought fire down from the mountaintop. Obama capped its carbon emissions. #ObamaInHistory

— Lachlan Markay (@LachlanMarkay) May 15, 2012

#Obamainhistory Washington could not tell a lie, Nixon could not tell the truth, Obama can’t tell the difference

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 15, 2012

On February 22, 1732, George Washington was born. This moment in American history wasn’t eclipsed for another 229 years. #ObamaInHistory

— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) May 15, 2012

In 1803, Jefferson bought the Louisiana Purchase for $233 million in today’s dollars, which Obama spent while you read this. #ObamaInHistory

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) May 15, 2012

Reagan joked “If it moves tax it…. If it stops moving, subsidize it.” President Obama has governed by those words. #ObamaInHistory

— Timothy P Carney (@TPCarney) May 15, 2012

1959: His warnings about the dire economic implications of a new invention, the ATM, go unheeded. #ObamainHistory

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) May 15, 2012

Bill Clinton was the most self-centered, narcissistic commander in Chief in history … until President Obama was elected. #ObamaInHistory

— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) May 15, 2012

31st century BC: Writing invented in Sumeria. 20th century AD: Written language perfected with Obama’s autobiographies #Obamainhistory

— ExurbanKevin (@ExurbanKevin) May 15, 2012

Join the fun! #ObamaInHistory

Have I mentioned that I’m looking forward to the next six months?

Who would do better on Jeopardy, Sarah Palin or Chris Matthews? For years, Matthews has said he knows. Here are a few representative quotes.

10/2/08:

“Is this [vice presidential debate] about her brain power?… Do you think cute will beat brains?…Do you think she’d do better on the questions on Jeopardy or the interview they do during a half-time?…My suspicion is that she has the same lack of intellectual curiosity that the President of the United States has right now and that is scary!”

1/12/10:

“They find these empty vessels who know nothing about the world! Nothing about foreign policy! Who immediately begin to spout the neo-con line. I read her book — it’s full of that crap….It’s unbelievable how little this woman knows!…Don’t put her on Jeopardy!”

11/2/10:

“Senator, do you think Sarah Palin is qualified to be President of the United States?…If she were on Jeopardy! right now and the topic was national government, American government generally defined, would she look like an imbecile, or would she look okay? Does she know anything?”

1/19/11:

“I’d like to see her on just a couple of episodes of Celebrity Jeopardy or It’s Academic Mac McGarry to just see if she knows anything.”

Alright, then.

You’ve probably guessed what happens next, but you have no idea how good it is:

Adding to his shame: He lost to a woman. And we all know how he feels about women. It would be weird that he bombed the question about sexual harassment, considering his own expertise, if it weren’t for the fact that he bombed all the other questions too.

Congratulations to Robert Gibbs, I guess. You outwitted, um, Chris Matthews.

(Mega-hat tip to Newsbusters)

It’s weird how that works, isn’t it? A few weeks ago, Monica Crowley joined the ever-growing list of people forced to apologize to Sandra Fluke after making this joke:

To a man?”Sandra Fluke Announces Engagement”

— Monica Crowley (@MonicaCrowley) April 26, 2012

According to Fluke, this was “hate speech” and “blatant homophobia” because… well, because a Republican said it.

Now it’s Rand Paul’s turn in the barrel, after saying:

“The president recently weighed in on marriage, and he said his views were evolving on marriage. Call me cynical, but I wasn’t sure his views on marriage could get any gayer.”

I’m not really sure what that means, but clearly it’s a criticism of Obama by a Republican and it has the word “gay” in it. Therefore, it must be hate speech and so forth.

Whereas this definitely isn’t hate speech:

The reason this isn’t hate speech, even though Andrew Sullivan calls himself a Republican, is because he worships Obama. (And I think Sullivan might be gay? I’m not sure. Just a suspicion. If I’m wrong about that, Mr. Sullivan, no offense. I don’t mean to cast aspersions or insult you, even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it if you are.)

It’s just another example of the personal identity doublethink I’ve been talking about. “It’s okay when we say it. When you say it, it’s mean and we’re going to yell at you a lot!” James Taranto has more on this odd phenomenon.

If you honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with being gay, then it shouldn’t bother you if somebody says you’re gay, even if they’re saying it to disparage you. But that’s not how the liberal mind works. Once again, it’s all about good ol’ identity politics. The truth or falsity of a statement all depends on who’s saying it. It’s not that they can’t take a joke… just not from you.

Liberals want conservatives to shut up, while we want nothing more than for them to keep talking.

Yes, please. Please keep talking, kids.

For the next 25 weeks.

I’ve been so delighted by the implosion of two treasured liberal tropes today, I haven’t known where to start. But really, they’re both about the same thing, so let’s look at them both.

First up, it’s good to see how Obama has used his “evolution” on gay marriage to bring everybody together.

(Hat tip: Hot Air) Wow, what a bunch of homophobes! If you’re in any way less than enthusiastic about gay marriage — as Obama used to be until he “evolved” last Wednesday — you hate gay people. Or so I’m told by my liberal friends.

Oh wait, am I allowed to say that? That’s racist, isn’t it? Because the homophobic gay-haters in question are black. I probably don’t get to disagree with them for that simple reason, do I? Oh dear, this business sure does get confusing in a hurry.

What wonderful chaos Joe Biden hath wrought! Liberals are very tolerant and open-minded until someone disagrees with them, and now Joe has set them up against each other in a cage match. I thought politicians were supposed to use wedge issues against their opponents, but Joe knows better.

Who’ll win, the race-baiters or the homophobe-baiters? Either way, it’s going to be fun to watch.

And speaking of personal identity doublethink and the lies liberals have to tell themselves just to get through the day: Guess who?

“I’m proud of my Native American heritage.” Yeah, about that… Michael Patrick Leahy writes:

The slender thread upon which Elizabeth Warren’s claim that she is 1/32 Cherokee rests—a purported 1894 marriage license application—has been exposed as non-existent. Based on a review of the original marriage records found in the files of the Logan County, Oklahoma Court Clerk’s office in Guthrie, Oklahoma, and the statements of ReJeania Zmek, the Court Clerk of Logan County, Oklahoma, it is likely that the ephemeral 1894 marriage license application never existed.

Oh. B-b-but something called the New England Historic Genealogical Society said they looked into it and found the marriage license, and it proved everything she’s been saying, and shut up. How can this be happening? How can Elizabeth Warren be proud of her Native American heritage if she doesn’t have any? There must be some way to make the facts fit the narrative. Until then, all she can do is double down on it in the absence of any evidence. And of course, she must insist that the criticism is sexist, because criticizing a woman is inherently sexist.

It’s not about your actions or your character or any of that stuff. It’s not about who you are. It’s about who you tell yourself you are. And that necessarily precludes any and all further discussion.

You know what would be perfect? If somebody claimed that a prominent politician was gay, and therefore he has absolute moral authority on gay-related issues, and you’re not allowed to disagree or else you’re a homophobe.

But that would just be silly.

P.S. And so it begins:

“I hope you evolve”? My goodness.

Personally, I can only aspire to beta-male status. Nonetheless, I enjoyed watching this, fondly anticipating the wailing and whining of Whittle’s targets:

Clearly, there’s still a place for square-jawed heroism in modern American culture, if the astonishing success of The Avengers is any indication. Sure, the flick has the requisite liberal sops to “clean energy” (oh, if only the real world had Asgardian-powered magictech!) and one-world government (who does S.H.I.E.L.D. work for, anyway?). But in the end, it’s about a group of individuals stepping up to an intimidating challenge, overcoming the odds, and saving the world without expecting its obeisance. The whole thing is messy and often dysfunctional, there’s a lot of bickering and personality clashes, but they’re able to put all that aside and just get on with it. They learn how to work together without giving up who they are and what they believe. The bad guys don’t stand a chance.

Remind you of anybody? (Hint: The guy with the shield named himself after you.)