It’s over: Brad Pitt moves into a cave

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That’s it. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have definitely split up. Definitely. There’s incontrovertible proof.

What? A confirmation? A formal confirmation of the split by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie themselves? Don’t be silly. But we don’t need a formal confirmation when we’ve got proof this watertight – Brad Pitt has just bought a house. A house with a cave attached.

And, yes, look, we know that Brad Pitt has bought several homes in the past, and none of the previous ones seemed to signal a romantic split from Angelina Jolie of any kind, but you’re missing the big picture here. This one has a cave. A cave, damn it! Remember when you spent $700,000 on a house with a cave last time you split up with your girlfriend? This is EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

Full story: Brad Pitt Buys A Cave, Which Obviously Means It’s Over via Hecklerspray