Opinion

Hail to the Chef: A menu of 2012 speculation

Myra Adams Contributor

Everyone loves Joe Biden our esteemed vice president, especially the late-night comics.

And their network bosses who save money on writer’s fees just by re airing Biden’s almost daily gaffes. I can’t wait until Biden gets his turn on “Celebrity Apprentice,” or even his own comedy show—he’s that lovable and human. That day may come sooner than you think. For it’s time to indulge in some wild media speculation about the future of Obama/Biden 2012.

Obama/Biden 2012 just sounds so 2008 and does not take into account a certain HER, or HRC, to use the proper initials. Whatever our current Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton does or doesn’t do in 2010 or 2011 will have a profound effect on 2012 and 2016.

So for fun let’s feed the hungry media beast with some juicy red meat. Here is the menu:

Prime Rib: Obama thought he needed Joe Biden to win in 2008 but for 2012 he already knows he doesn’t. Since the 2012 VP slot is really about setting up a frontrunner for 2016, Obama doesn’t want Biden as the lead horse, especially when the Rahm E-man knows this will create a 2016 Primary Death Match that will embarrass Obama (when Biden gets trampled.) So Obama quietly offers Hillary the VP slot and Biden takes her job at State.  A nice clean switcharoo. Biden saves face and goes on to “save” the world.  Obama and Hillary face a tough GOP ticket of (it doesn’t matter for the point of this article.) But win or lose Hillary is the automatic frontrunner for 2016.

A switch that’s safe, easy and solves so many messy problems, unless one orders:

Filet Mignon: Unemployment hovers at around 10 percent, but the real number is closer to 17 percent. The Great Health Care Victory is terminally ill by November, as everyone’s insurance premiums have increased substantially. Hillary smells opportunity, and resigns from State just after the devastating 2010 midterm losses. She launches an “I TOLD YOU SO TOUR” only this time the press loves her. (Especially when she downs shots of whiskey in Iowa bars.) Hillary sweeps Iowa and New Hampshire until Obama stops her in South Carolina.  (All that stimulus money finally got spent.) Hillary, tired of fighting, coyly says “yes” when Obama “convinces” her to replace Biden on the ticket.

But, consider ordering Bubba Clinton’s favorite dish:

The New York Strip: A Supreme Court vacancy occurs when Rahm Emanuel convinces Justice Ruth Ginsberg it’s time to go so Obama can nominate Hillary. Hillary loves the fact that black robes cover everything and agrees to serve. Now the Queen has a real court until 2016 or forever if she chooses.

Finally, the Hail-to-the-Chef’s special:

Spare Ribs: With Hillary benched, Rahm still has to remove Biden from the 2012 ticket. Joe’s “foreign affairs expertise” lands him at State, leaving the VP ticket open for either Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill or Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell. Both are safe choices for President Obama. While Hillary the Supreme, stares down and hovers above, contemplating 2016.

Myra Adams is a media producer, writer and political observer. Her media clients have included national associations, political interest groups and corporations. She was on the creative team with Mark McKinnon that created the now infamous John Kerry “Windsurfing” ad for the Bush 2004 presidential campaign and served on the McCain Ad Council during the 2008 McCain campaign. Myra’s web site TheJesusStore.com contributes all profits to Christian charity.