Today in jokes: Rubio makes one (sort of)

Mike Riggs Contributor
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TO: The World
FROM: Marco Rubio
SUBJECT: Charlie Crist Named “Conservative of the Year” (Happy April Fool’s Day)
HED: FOR CHARLIE CRIST, EVERY DAY IS APRIL FOOL’S DAY

BODY: For Charlie Crist, every day is April Fool’s Day.  Whether it’s big issues like taxes and spending, or simple things like whether he describes himself as a conservative, Crist has spent his entire career promising one thing to Floridians and then doing another.

For Charlie Crist, every day is April Fool’s Day.  Whether it’s big issues like taxes and spending, or simple things like whether he describes himself as a conservative, Crist has spent his entire career promising one thing to Floridians and then doing another.

“Everyone likes to have a little fun on April Fool’s Day, but Charlie Crist’s problem is that he’s treated every day of his political career like one big April Fool’s joke on Floridians,” said Rubio for Senate spokesman Alex Burgos.  “Fortunately, this is the year it all catches up with him.

“Voters know they can’t trust him to go Washington to stand up to President Obama’s agenda.  They can’t trust him to tell the truth about his record.  They can’t trust him to tell the truth about Marco Rubio’s record.  And they simply can’t trust him to keep his promises.”

TOP 10 WAYS CRIST HAS TRIED TO MAKE FOOLS OUT OF FLORIDIANS

1. TAXES: “I, CHARLIE CRIST, PLEDGE TO THE TAXPAYERS OF THE STATE OF FLORIDA THAT I WILL OPPOSE AND VETO ANY AND ALL EFFORTS TO INCREASE TAXES.”

In 2009, Crist Broke His Pledge Against Raising Taxes By Signing A Budget That “Includes $2.2 Billion In New Fees And Taxes.” (“Gov. Crist Signs $66.5 Billion Budget, Breaks Tax Pledge,” St. Petersburg Times, 5/28/09)

Americans For Tax Reform: “Crist Went Against His Commitment To Floridians On Wednesday And Broke His Pledge As Governor To ‘Oppose And Veto Any And All Tax Increases.’” (Americans For Tax Reform, “Taxpayers Disappointed with Crist Pledge Violation,” Press Release, 5/29/09)

2. “I’M A JEB BUSH REPUBLICAN”

Asked What It Meant To Be A Conservative, Crist Said, “I Don’t Know. It Doesn’t Really Matter To Me, If You Want To Know The Truth.” (Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 12/30/07)

Once Referred To As A “Closet Democrat,” Crist Said, “I’ll Take That As A Compliment.” (“For Gov. Charlie Crist, A Battered Image And Uncertain Future,” St. Petersburg Times, 12/31/09)

3. WORK ETHIC: “I’LL COME TO WORK EVERY DAY.”  “I HAVE NO DAYS OFF.”

In 2006, Crist Said “I’ll Come To Work Every Day” In One Debate. (“Schedule: Crist Takes 10 Weeks Off A Year,” St. Petersburg Times/Miami Herald, 10/23/09)

In April 2009, Crist Said, “I’m Never Not Governor.  I Have No Days Off.  I’m Working All The Time.”(“Crist’s Schedule Not Exactly Full,” South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 4/18/09)

A 2009 Report Noted That “Crist Has Scheduled The Equivalent Of Almost 10 Weeks Off Annually.” (“Schedule: Crist Takes 10 Weeks Off A Year,” St. Petersburg Times/Miami Herald, 10/23/09)

In Late 2009, “Crist Acknowledged ‘It’s Certainly Possible’ That His Intense Focus On Raising Millions Of Dollars As A Senate Candidate Diverted Attention From His Duties As Chief Executive Of The Nation’s Fourth-Most Populous State.” (“For Gov. Charlie Crist, Battered Image And Uncertain Future,” St. Petersburg Times/Miami Herald, 12/31/09)

4. SPENDING: “I DIDN’T ENDORSE IT.  I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A VOTE ON THE DARN THING.”

When Asked About The Stimulus, Crist Famously Told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, “I Didn’t Endorse It.  I Didn’t Even Have A Vote On The Darn Thing.” (CNN, The Situation Room, 11/4/09)

“Crist: I’d Have Voted For Stimulus Bill.” (“Crist: I’d Have Voted For Stimulus Bill,” Orlando Sentinel, 5/19/09)

5. SECOND AMENDMENT: “I’M PRO-GUN.”

In 2008, Charlie Crist Did Not Initially Support The “Guns-At-Work” Bill. (“House Passes ‘Guns At Work’ Bill,” St. Petersburg Times, 3/26/08)

Crist’s Original 2009 Budget Proposed Taking Money From A Concealed Weapons Permit Fee Trust Fund. (Miami Herald, 11/16/09)

6. ABORTION: “I AM PRO-CHOICE.” “I’M PRO-LIFE.”  “I WOULD PREFER NOT TO CHANGE LAW.”

On Abortion, Crist Has A Well-Documented History Of Saying One Thing To One Audience And Then Something Else To Another…In The Same Day. (“Crist Says He Would Sign Abortion Ban,” Associated Press, 3/22/07)

In 2006, Crist Said, “I Would Prefer Not To Change Law, I Would Rather Change Hearts.” (“Fla. Gov. Crist’s Abortion View Flips In New Race,” Associated Press, 1/8/10)

In 1998, Crist Said, “I Am Pro-Choice, But Not Pro-Abortion.” (“Crist’s Stance On Abortion Still Hazy,” St. Petersburg Times, 8/18/06)

7. GAMBLING: CRIST “WILL NOT SUPPORT THE EXPANSION OF GAMBLING IN FLORIDA.”

As A Candidate For Governor, Crist Insisted He Would Be “Against The Expansion Of Gambling” In Florida. (Miami Herald, 8/4/06)

As Governor, Crist Pushed Through An Unconstitutional Deal To Dramatically Expand Gambling.(St. Petersburg Times, 7/4/08)

8. OFFSHORE DRILLING: AGAINST IT UNTIL HE WAS ON JOHN MCCAIN’S VP SHORT LIST

Crist “Changed A Yearslong Opposition To Oil Drilling Off Florida’s Coast After Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain Said The Nation Needs More Offshore Drilling.” (“With Election Near, Gov. Crist Changes,” The Associated Press, 12/7/09)

9. TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE: FOR IT IN A GOP PRIMARY, BUT THEN IT WAS “NOT AN ISSUE THAT MOVES ME” AS GOVERNOR.

While Running In the 2006 Republican Gubernatorial Primary, Crist Said, “Marriage Is Between A Man And Woman And That He Would Support A Constitutional Amendment To Outlaw Gay Marriage.” (Miami Herald, 8/20/06)

Crist Later Said Protecting Traditional Marriage Is “Not An Issue That Moves Me.  I’m Just A Live And Let Live Kind Of Guy.” (“Crist Takes ‘Live And Let Live’ Approach To Marriage Vote,” St. Petersburg Times, 12/14/07)

10. JUDICIAL NOMINATIONS: I Will Appoint Conservative, Not Activist, Judges

As A Candidate For Governor, Crist Repeatedly Pledged To Appoint “Conservative” Judges. (St. Petersburg Times, 1/29/06)

As Governor, Crist Appointed A Liberal Judge, Backed By Liberal Groups, Over More-Qualified And Conservative Judges. (Human Events, 3/13/09)