DC Trawler

‘Don’t ask, don’t tell. Or, you know what? Go ahead and tell. Wait, no…’

Is it just me, or is this kind of silly?

Reversing course, Army Secretary John McHugh warned soldiers Thursday that they still can be discharged for acknowledging they are gay, saying he misspoke earlier this week when he suggested the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy had been temporarily suspended.

The public stumble by a senior service official is an indication of the issue’s legal complexity. The Pentagon has said it wants to hear from gay troops as it conducts a broad study on how it could lift the ban, as President Barack Obama wants.

But to do that, gay service members would have to break the law, which prohibits them from discussing their sexual orientation.

“We might let you come out of the closet, and we’d like your help figuring out how to do that. So… whoa, wait. You’re what??

Not only do I think out-of-the-closet gays should be in the military, but I think we should create a new branch of the service just for them. The United States Queer Force, maybe? They’d have the best uniforms, the best food, the wittiest cadences… And just imagine the shame Islamic terrorists would feel, knowing they were getting killed by their worst nightmare. Can you even get into Islamic heaven if you get killed by a gay dude? I’m pretty sure they think that’s worse than drowning in bacon grease.