Blogging: Safest profession on Earth

Jim Treacher | Blogger

Because you don’t have to deal with this health hazard:

According to a recent study, men’s levels of cortisol — the body’s stress hormone – go through the roof when left alone with a woman who is “out of their league.”

Just five minutes alone with an attractive female raise the levels of cortisol, according to a study from the University of Valencia.

The effects are heightened in men who believe that the woman in question is “out of their league.” Those high levels of cortisol “produced by the body under physical or psychological stress and has been linked to heart disease … diabetes, hypertension and impotency.”

It only took 50 years for science to catch up with Jimmy Soul:

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
She’ll always give you peace of mind

Don’t let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don’t match
Take it from me, she’s a better catch

Spoken:
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, and she’s ug-leeee!
Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you’re an attractive female and you want to defend yourself from this scurrilous accusation, please e-mail jim at dailycaller dot com with photographic proof.

P.S. It’s been pointed out that blogging hasn’t been such a safe profession for me lately. True, but that’s after 8 years without a work-related injury. Blogging was no problem until I had to start leaving the house.

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