Remember that guy who ran for president and had great hair and knocked up that nutty New Age broad on the campaign trail? Have you seen him lately? Because according to Diane Dimond at the Daily Beast, there really are two Americas and he’s run away to the other one:

Since surfacing in January, when he went to Haiti in the wake of the devastating earthquake, John Edwards has literally disappeared from the national scene. Over the past two months, he receded even further, becoming a ghost even around the Research Triangle of North Carolina, which he calls home. Few of the people who worked for him as a presidential candidate have heard from him, and not even his lawyers return reporters’ repeated phone calls…

With few real friends to turn to for counsel, he’s also jettisoned most of his trusted advisers, including pollster Harrison Hickman. Those who’ve known him best say Edwards seems almost lost as to what to do with his life now that politics is no longer an option.

Awww, no! Well, there’s always reality TV. Or should I say: Rielle-ity? No, I guess I shouldn’t say that. Anyhow, he could be the next Blago!

And of course:

Until recently, according to numerous sources, including two members of law enforcement at a nearby police station, he sometimes frequented local watering holes, such as The Wooden Nickel and the Saratoga Grill. On these forays, according to these sources, he liked to chat up pretty single women, a glass of white wine in hand.

Well, what’s he supposed to do, mope around his mansion day and night? The place can only hold so many mirrors. Hey, maybe now he and Al Gore can go out tomcattin’ together! Beauty and the beached whale.

(Hat tip: The DC Morning e-mail, which you should sign up to receive right now. Over there on the right side of the page. Where it says “SIGN UP FOR DAILY EMAILS.” Do it.)