Good morning, Keith, and thanks for reading KeithOlbermann.com. As you know, we’re here to provide you with the latest news and information on your favorite subject: You!
Not many people know this, Keith, but you appear regularly on a cable network called… Sorry, I don’t have it in front of me, let me look… Oh, here it is: MSNBC? Is that right? Okay. Well, your television program is called Countdown with Keith Olbermann, so people know it’s hosted by you and not somebody they’d want to watch.
The Daily Caller’s Ruth Graham gets paid to watch it, however, and every week she writes a column about how she deals with the experience emotionally. It’s a very enjoyable feature on KeithOlbermann.com, at least for everybody who isn’t you. Here’s a snippet of this week’s entry:
TUESDAY, JULY 13: Longtime Yankees owner George Steinbrenner died on Tuesday, causing Keith Olbermann to ruminate fondly and at great length about Keith Olbermann. After teasing the segment on “my 37 years with George Steinbrenner,” he played clips of himself interviewing Steinbrenner in 1982, and recounted the great long list of ways that Steinbrenner had loved him:
“He wrote fan letters to my bosses about me, inquired after my mother‘s health for the five years after she was hit by that throw at Yankee Stadium, tried to hire me once, and once spent several minutes telling a guest of his, reviewing each occasion over the 30 years in which he and I had interacted, as I stood there in astonishment. That guest was President Clinton…”
You know, it was only a few weeks ago that Olbermann bragged that Larry King tried to convince his bosses to hire Olbermann. “Larry King is a lovely and generous man, who repeatedly tried to convince his bosses to hire me to precede him at CNN,” he intoned. Sure he did. Tune in on Christmas Day to watch Olbermann reminisce about the time Santa Claus tried to hire him.
Don’t worry, Keith, we don’t really think Santa likes you! Read the rest of Ruth’s column here, although I’m guessing you already have.
In addition to grimacing into a TV camera every night, you also post a lot to Twitter. And boy, do you fire off some zingers:
Spelling flames in the dead of night. I’m not sure there’s a better indicator of happiness and emotional fulfillment, and neither are the 11 people who thought that was a good one.
Here’s another glittering bon mot, which you came up with off the top of your head because that’s just what you do:
I probably shouldn’t say this, because the guy’s my boss, but… DAAAAAAAMN! Keith, reading your tweets is like being a fly on the Algonquin Round Table. (And then this is the part where you say, “Please, fly… away!!” Touché in advance.)
Well, that’s all the Keith Olbermann news for now, Keith. Be sure to check back with us at KeithOlbermann.com for the latest, and tell us how much you like it at firstname.lastname@example.org. Keith ya later!
P.S. Almost forgot: Win a keitholbermann.com e-mail address. Dibs on email@example.com!