DC Trawler

What Mitt Romney Does Better Than Chuck Norris

J. Crittenden Contributor
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While Jim Treacher continues his lobster roll-tasting tour of New England, other people will be trawling. Like Jules Crittenden. Jules is a Boston Herald editor who has reported on politics, crime, science, foreign affairs, and maritime and military matters in the United States, Asia, the Balkans and the Middle East.

Polls vs. Obama. It’s a pretty astonishing Zogby poll result, because everyone knows there’s basically nothing Chuck Norris can’t do.* But beating Obama isn’t one of them. Boston Herald:

Former Bay State Gov. Mitt Romney is a “major player” nipping at the heels of President Obama and stands as the GOP’s best shot to reclaim the Oval Office in 2012, a new national poll shows.

“In many ways, he’s arguably the establishment front-runner,” pollster John Zogby said of a new poll showing Romney trailing President Obama by just 2 percentage points. “He’s got name recognition, he’s been through it before, and he did credibly in 2008. He’s a major player in the race.”

The Zogby poll of 8,487 likely voters showed Obama edging Romney out 45 to 43 percent.

Romney’s potential GOP opponents, Sarah Palin and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, both fared far worse against Obama. Palin trailed the president by 11 points while Huckabee was behind by 9 points, the poll found.

The poll also found Romney leading the president among independents 47 to 36, which Zogby called “very significant.”

The poll also pitted the president in hypothetical battles against Republican Hollywood stars Clint Eastwood, Tom Selleck and Chuck Norris. Obama netted nearly half the votes in each scenario with Norris faring the best at 29 percent.

Here’s an idea. How about a Romney-Chuck Norris ticket. It would probably take Chuck Norris to pry Romney off that health care thing he saddled Massachusetts with and was still pushing during the Big Health Care Scam of 2009. But Chuck Norris a last check was a Huckabee fan.

I’m a little surprised to see Clint Eastwood doing that badly, in the wake of his critically acclaimed, crowd-pleasing, unapologetically nihilistic “Gran Torino” redemption. Must be the residual “Every Which Way But Loose” effect … he’s been perceived as unreliable, erratic ever since … plus the general peacenik, pro-enemy stance in wartime with those cinematically disappointing, PTSD-obsessed, Nippon-symp Iwo flicks. That and the fact that at 80, Clint Eastwood is no Dirty Harry.

* The Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts include this astute political observation:  ”When Arnold says the line ‘I’ll be back’ in the first Terminator movie it is  implied that he is going to ask Chuck Norris for help.”