Rahm “Dead Fish” Emanuel plans to leave his post as Obama’s head bouncer and pocket-thug-in-residence to head home to Chicago. He wants to spend more time cussing out his family and teaching expletive-laced rap songs to South Side Chicago kids.
He wants to be mayor of Chicago, which, if elected (by voters both alive and dead) and then confirmed by Oprah, will make him the second-most powerful man in Illinois, right behind Steadman. His “Cash for Clunkers” program made him the perfect person to administer Oprah’s audience car giveaway promotions.
I actually like colorful politicians like Rahm who get things done. It is too bad he was doing the Democrats’ bidding on all the bad ideas they put forth. The Republicans really need a person like him on their side. He reminds me of Newt Gingrich when he was the energy behind the Republican takeover of Congress in 1994.
Rahm was Obama’s closest and bestest buddy at the White House. He made Obama’s promise of being a “post-partisan president” the joke it quickly became.
Remember, it was Rahm who trolled the Congressional showers naked trying to intimidate showering Congressman Eric Massa into voting for ObamaCare. I know what you are thinking: “I just got that terrible image out of my head; why did you have to go and remind me?” In fairness to Rahm, Massa was already under investigation for fondling three male staffers, proving that Rahm does do his research into what it takes to wrangle a person’s vote.
When the story broke, the shower curtains in the Congressional men’s shower were quickly taken down, adding yet another legislative accomplishment to Rep. Barney Frank’s (Gay-MA) glowing resume.
Memories of Rahm’s tenure as Obama’s chief of staff are many. He had a water gun fight with Joe “Plugs” Biden during a party at Biden’s house. It was the closest thing to military service he had ever encountered, and they gave each other a Purple Heart for their efforts. Obama stopped the water gun fight, so we know what that means: another Nobel Peace Prize!!
Among the reported gaffes Rahm Emanuel committed while White House Chief of Staff was using what has become an offensive word, “retarded,” to describe fellow liberal Democrats. He was forced to apologize to the Special Olympics and to Joe Biden.
The administration says that it has not sold its great ideas and “legislative accomplishments” intended to fix the economy well enough to the American people. As with ObamaCare, is it really an “accomplishment” when you wreck the deficit on a program that 70% of Americans do not want? The results of this fine work are now being recognized for what they are: a lingering recession and structural unemployment.
The real story is that Obama’s people are leaving his administration in droves, like rats leaving a sinking ship. Rahm is not “letting a good crisis go to waste,” so he is departing with the other Demo-rats from this disaster of a presidency.
Many remaining members of the current administration are on the road during one of the earliest Congressional recesses of all time, talking about all they have done and patting themselves on the back. Their spin doctors tell us we have “turned the corner” on unemployment, “turned the corner” on the deficit, “turned the corner” in Iraq, and “turned the corner” on the economy. If my math is right, when you turn four corners you are right back where you started — which, in their case, is blaming Bush.
Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or at visit RonaldHart.com.