1.) Obama administration demands opponents prove a negative — Mustachioed red-diaper baby David Axelrod keeps making things worse and worse for his boss. The Hill reports that Axelrod “said the U.S. Chamber of Commerce has the burden of proving false the charge by Democrats that the business group is funneling foreign money to Republican campaigns. Axelrod was pressed by CBS’ Bob Schieffer on Sunday for evidence that the foreign campaign contributions benefiting the GOP is more than ‘peanuts.’ ‘Do you have any evidence that it’s not, Bob?’ Axelrod said on ‘Face the Nation.’ ‘The fact is that the Chamber has asserted that, but they won’t release any information about where their campaign money is coming from.'” Remember this the next time somebody on the left accuses you of McCarthyism. Does Obama really want to remind people about his mysterious ’08 donors, like Good Will and Doodad Pro? Maybe that’s why he’s already backing off.
2.) Obama ducks questions, books — Everybody who thought it was hilarious when Bush got a shoe thrown at him will find this equally delightful. Or possibly not. The Daily Mail writes: “A book was apparently hurled at the head of U.S. President Barack Obama during a campaign rally in Philadelphia. The flying missile narrowly missed hitting the President today. It is not clear what the book was, where it came from in the crowd, or why it was thrown at Mr Obama – who did not appear to notice the danger.” He doesn’t tend to, does he, until it’s too late? Well, you shouldn’t throw things at the president, even if you don’t like him.
3.) Nude dude intrudes, cash accrued — If you think throwing a book at the President of the United States is ballsy, get a load of this. Daniel Halper at the Weekly Standard writes: “If billionaire Alki David is an honest man, the man who streaked in front of Barack Obama at the president’s rally today in Philadelphia will be paid $1 million for his stunt. The man who performed today’s stunt, which captured the attention of the Drudge Report and an Associated Press photographer, is 24-year-old Juan James Rodriguez… The requirements of the streaking stunt, David told me, are that the streaker must have been within ‘eye-shot and ear shot of the president, they have to scream the name ‘battlecam.com’ six times, and they have to be nude.'” [Insert “job created or saved” joke here]
4.) The four races Democrats must win in order to keep screwing up America — “Republicans need to take 10 seats currently held by Democrats in order to win back control of the Senate,” writes TheDC’s Jon Ward. This is not wishful thinking, but fact. In order to keep this from happening, Democrats have erected a “firewall,” in the form of four Senate races that they absolutely cannot lose under any circumstances, if they want to keep on doing things like passing crappy financial regulatory reform and cowering before House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. These states are: California, Connecticut, Delaware and Washington. In Connecticut, revisionist historian Dick Blumenthal leads GOP candidate Linda McMahon by nine points. In California, people are too stoned to vote for anybody but Barbara Boxer. In Delaware, hahahaha, oh god, Delaware! Let’s move on to Washington, where folks say Dino Rossi actually has a change of beating Sen. Patty Murray, even though he is a dirty capitalist pig.
5.) Report: States are wasting so much money sending bums to college — If you thought the federal student lending racket was worth crying over, you are just going to sob over this: “States appropriated almost $6.2 billion for four-year colleges and universities between 2003 and 2008 to help pay for the education of students who did not return for year two,” reports the AP. “In addition, the federal government spent $1.5 billion and states spent $1.4 billion on grants for students who didn’t start their sophomore years.” How does one read this? Is freshman year that tough? No! Quite the opposite! Sure, all your classes are about boring crap, like how “Mexican Indians sold Manhattan to George Washington for an up-skirt photo of Betsy Ross,” but otherwise it is just one big party that someone else is paying for! Why spoil it by doing it over and over again for four years?
6.) Old people deprived of cat food raise for second consecutive year — The olds will be out for blood when they hear that there will be no cost of living increases to social security this year. Can you imagine it? Fifty-eight million electric scooters, bearing down on Washington. It will be like the Hell’s Angels at Altamont, times a million. Also: Historically significant! According to the AP, this “would mark only the second year without an increase since automatic adjustments for inflation were adopted in 1975. The first year was this year.” Oh. That just doesn’t good. The old people are going to get the memo about no increases, and they are going to want to know who to blame. The obvious answer will be “Democrats,” so we can probably expect a huge showing for the Federalist and Bull Moose parties this November.