Sorry, I’m not sorry: TheDC’s countdown to ‘Countdown’

Alexis Levinson Political Reporter
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Our favorite news commentator, Keith Olbermann, comes back tonight after being briefly suspended by MSNBC for donating to Democratic candidates — a violation of MSNBC standards. When Olbermann’s suspension was announced, it was said Olbermann would be out “indefinitely.” Luckily for us — our Friday and Monday nights were utterly barren without Keith — he’ll be back hosting “Countdown” tonight after just missing two episodes.

Olbermann issued an eloquent apology to his viewers early this morning, and to show our gratitude, as well as to give us something to do for the several hours we anxiously wait for the clock to strike eight, we at The Daily Caller decided to do our own countdown to “Countdown,” featuring great apologies of the past.

5. Lindsay Lohan apologizes to the court after they sent her back to jail and then rehab for violating her probation. Her manicure tells a different story: on her middle finger nail, Lohan had printed, “Fuck u.”

4. Next, we have Kanye West’s apology to Taylor Swift on his blog. After he stole her thunder at the 2009 VMAs when he stood up and told her “Yo Taylor. I’m really happy for you. I’m gonna let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.”

Apparently, saying the same thing over again in slightly different words constitutes an apology. Kanye blogged days later: ““I’m sooooo sorry to Taylor Swift and her fans and her mom [Andrea]. … She is very talented! I’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment!…………….. Beyonce’s video was the best of this decade!!! I’m sorry to my fans if I let you guys down!!!!! I’m sorry to my friends at MTV. I will apologize to Taylor 2mrw. Welcome to the real world!!!!”


Luckily, Kanye remedied the situation before the 2010 VMAs, tweeting a more sincere apology. By which point, everyone had moved on, except for him.

3. Kevin Garnett aroused public ire when Charlie Villanueva of the Detroit Pistons tweeted that Garnett had called him “a cancer patient” when they were trash talking on the court. Villanueva suffers from alopecia areata, a disease which causes hair loss.

Garnett, by way of apology, explained: “My comment to [Villanueva] was in fact ‘You are cancerous to your team and our league.” The Celtics player went on to say, “I would never be insensitive to the brave struggle that cancer patients endure. I have lost loved ones to this deadly disease and have a family member currently undergoing treatment. I would never say anything that distasteful.”

Indeed. Calling someone ‘cancerous’ is much more tasteful.

2. And then there was Mel Gibson. There have been so many bigoted rants and so many apologies, we’ve all but lost track. But Gibson, speaking of his anti-Semitic 2006 outburst, explained, according to the Today Show’s website: “It’s said that I went into a rant…but I think it went on for about five words. I was drunk. It just turned into a big thing. I apologized profusely — not once but three times. So what’s the problem? It’s four years ago. Do I need to apologize again?””

Not learning from his mistakes, Gibson performed a racist rant against his then wife, giving him something new for which to apologize.

1. Finally, we have Keith Olbermann’s recent apology. In his letter to viewers, ostensibly an apology note in the wake of his suspension, our favorite political commentator wrote, “I also wish to apologize to you viewers for having precipitated such anxiety and unnecessary drama.” He then went on to justify his actions, explaining “You should know that I mistakenly violated an inconsistently applied rule – which I previously knew nothing about,” and telling his viewers that after being told that “no suspension was contemplated, I was suspended without a hearing, and learned of that suspension through the media.”

We here at The Daily Caller were genuinely impressed by the way he humbled himself. Such contrition! We can’t wait to see what else Olbermann has to say tonight. The DC’s Ruth Graham will be live-blogging his return to the airwaves. Until then, we’ll just be counting down the hours.

TheDC’s Christopher Harrell contributed to this report.