1.) Michael Steele’s haters would probably hate him even if he were white — No political race involving people of different races would be complete without allegations of racism, as RNC Chairman Michael Steele and the Rev. Al Sharpton demonstrated during a recent radio interview. “You’d be the first brother run out after doing a good job. It would be interesting to see them have a historic win, and the brother takes the fall. Usually the brother takes the fall when they lose,” Sharpton told a laughing Steele. The RNC’s Solomon Yue, however, told The Daily Caller’s Jonathan Strong that his loathing of Steele has nothing to do with the color of Steele’s skin. “This RNC Chairman election is not about race whatsoever. It is about restoring trust, integrity, and accountability of RNC.” Is the racism allegation as potent when the critic is Asian-American? Somebody call the Rev!
2.) Catfood Commission would defund public media, U.N., pandas — It is a shame that no one is going to listen to the Catfood Commission, aka, Pres. Obama’s Deficit Reduction Thingy, because it has some really good ideas. Not only do Erskine Bowles and Alan “Too many Teats” Simpson want to reduce America’s homage to the U.N. by a paltry $300 million, writes The Daily Caller’s Jon Ward, but “also included in the report is a recommendation to eliminate government funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, whose “primary job is to fund [National Public Radio] and its member stations and PBS and its member stations.” This does not sit well with people in public broadcasting, who need federal bucks to fund content that their audiences don’t want enough to pay for. Other things that the commission would cut that people will most likely bitch about: Funding for the Smithsonian (this will require people to actually pay $7.50 to see classic pieces of art, pandas, old airplanes, and stuffed tigers), and money for the Parks Service.
3.) Incandescent insurgent wants Fred Upton to get bent — Walter Smith (a Daily Caller pseudonym for a source who didn’t want his name to be used) cares very deeply about the chairmanship of the Energy and Commerce Committee. More deeply than you do, probably. Why? Because Smith stockpiles incandescent light bulbs. According to TheDC’s Alexis Levinson, Smith “has been collecting them for three years now, ever since the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 passed.” This makes Smith something of a revolutionary, or an energy insurgent. The reason Smith cares so much about the chairmanship of the Energy and Commerce Committee is that one of the contenders for the spot, Rep. Fred Upton of Michigan, is the reason that Smith’s garage is full of thousands of light bulbs. According to Smith, Upton’s yes vote on the tyrannical energy bill almost burned down his house. As a test, Smith bought one of the ecofreak bulbs mandated by the bill Upton voted for, combined it with “a socket and a dimmer [and] had fireworks within five minutes.”
4.) Ralph Nader will save us all — The X-ray security machines coming to an airport near you have been called “dick-measuring devices” by seasoned travelers, inspired TSA employees to commit crimes of passion, and eaten up the Transportation Security Administration’s allocation of stimubucks. In short, no one likes them. But don’t cancel your travel plans just yet, America. Ralph Nader is on the case! In an interview with TheDC, Nader said that he’s been working the phones and the secret meetings to recruit powerful people from all walks of life to oppose airport x-ray machines. “They store these images of you naked,” Nader said, who pointed out that travelers who’d rather not engage in softcore porn at the direction of the TSA are subjected to thorough pat-downs. “I don’t think we should have government gropers or federal fondlers.”
5.) Why is the EPA killing America? — “President Barack Obama seems more concerned with appeasing environmental extremists in his administration than he is with the lost jobs of poor Americans,” writes Jon Basil Utley in Reason. Utley points to a slew of pending regulations that would kill jobs in the millions. “A study released by the Council of Industrial Boiler Owners says new rules over soot would put 300,000 to 800,000 jobs at risk as industries opted to close plants rather than pay the expensive new costs.” Also? “Some contractors are refusing to work on houses built before 1979 (when lead paint use was discontinued) because of stringent new EPA permitting required for lead paint removal.” The fines imposed by the EPA for not “appropriately” removing lead paint are $37,000 per day, a “ruinous [amount] for smaller contractors and individual workers.”
6.) Eric Holder is disillusioned — A new profile from glossy men’s mag GQ paints Attorney General Eric Holder as a sad man who came to Washington to do good things for America but now finds himself defending Obama’s super assassin program. Also, Rahm Emanuel is a bully, apparently.