1.) Santorum scolds state-sponsored scrotum-squeezers — If a TSA screener touches you where it feels funny, do the terrorists win? Rick Santorum knows! According to TheDC’s Alex Pappas, the former Pennsylvania Senator “says the government is giving terrorists just what they want by implementing the new — and revealing — Transportation Security Administration enhanced screenings on airline passengers. ‘In many respects, I’ve seen some of the headlines, “terrorists win,”‘ Santorum said to a group of college Republicans at American University Thursday night. ‘I think it’s a pretty good subtitle to what we’re seeing. I think TSA has gone overboard.'” Given the choice between letting low-level government employees see you naked or grab your you-know-what before you can get on a flight, it’ll be interesting to see how many people opt for Amtrak.
2.) Four Loko drives FDA more loco — Hey, how come the FDA is banning Four Loko because it has alcohol mixed with caffeine, but you can still buy alcohol and caffeine separately and mix them all you like? The DC’s Jonathan Strong looks at the study the FDA is relying on: “The only evidence the FDA relied on to show the danger of Four Loko, Joose and other booze-laced energy drinks were studies that examined consumption of ‘alcohol mixed with energy drink’ generally. One study explicitly limited its focus to Red Bull vodkas… ‘We can’t regulate what you do in the privacy of your home or at the bar,’ said FDA spokesman Michael Herndon, with a tinge of wistfulness in his voice, ‘but we do advise against it.'” So it’s okay to mix those two great tastes together, unless you set up a company specifically to do so. Who says these guys are anti-business?
3.) LaHood hates LaPhones — If these government intrusions into your daily life aren’t enough, how about not being trusted to operate a cellphone in a moving vehicle? Jeff Winkler reports on the backlash against Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood’s attempts to make you hang up and drive: “Responding to a couple of articles written in The Daily Caller, LaHood took to his blog in order to clarify his position about whether or not he ‘believed we should employ a specific technology that would block cell phone signals in cars to prevent drivers from talking or texting behind the wheel.’ ‘I think the technology is there and I think you’re going to see the technology become adaptable in automobiles to disable these cell phones,’ LaHood had said on MSNBC. ‘We need to do a lot more if we’re going to save lives.'” Yes, drivers should pay more attention to other cars, and especially to pedestrians. (Just ask our own Jim Treacher.) But it’s a matter of personal responsibility, as LaHood now acknowledges. Even though he still wants to download anti-stupid software to your phone. NannyState.exe?
4.) NPR does not stand for Nazis Producing Radio — Fox News Channel President Roger Ailes called NPR executives “Nazis” the other day, and now he’s sorry. He’s apologized to the Anti-Defamation League, according to Politico: “‘I was of course ad-libbing and should not have chosen that word,’ Ailes wrote in a letter to Abe Foxman, ADL’s national director. ‘but I was angry at the time because of NPR’s willingness to censor Juan Williams for not being liberal enough.'” The ADL has accepted Ailes’ apology, and NPR has cancelled plans for their new show, All Things Enhitlered.
5.) The Lone Rangel — Raspy-voiced rogue Charlie Rangel is all by himself out there. He’s in trouble, or at least the closest to trouble a Democrat in Congress is ever going to get without being voted out of office. The AP reports: “One of Congress’ most likable veterans, Rep. Charles Rangel, would become the 23rd House member in the nation’s history to be censured if the House goes along with a recommendation of its ethics committee. After Thanksgiving, House members will take up the solemn task of disciplining one of their own when the New York Democrat is reproached for financial and fundraising misconduct.” But how can they do that? He’s so likable!
6.) Bristol Palin sets up dance studio inside Hollywood’s head — Whether or not you think it’s a good idea for Bristol Palin to participate in a dancing competition on TV, it sure is fun to watch her drive Palin-haters even crazier. Popeater’s Rob Shuter writes, “At first, having Bristol Palin participate in ‘Dancing With The Stars’ seemed like a brilliant idea… But now the joke is on the show’s producers, as they fear Bristol is actually going to win this thing. ‘This will be a disaster for the show if Bristol wins,’ one TV insider tells me. ‘Any credibility the show had will be over. It will go from being a dancing competition to a popularity competition where whoever has the most rabid fan base will always win no matter how little talent they have.'” That’s right, folks: Dancing with the Stars has credibility! Who knew?