DC Trawler

Scientists prove it: Pandas are morons

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If you people want to keep pretending that pandas are worth saving, please leave me out of it. The Telegraph reports:

Researchers dressed as pandas introduce cubs to wild

It may look as if they have escaped from a Disney theme park or a children’s party, but underneath these furry giant panda costumes lurk some of China’s leading conservationists.

The dressing up is just not for fun, say scientists, but an essential part of China’s ambitious strategy to reintroduce captive-bred Giant Pandas back into the wild.

It is not yet clear if the Pandas are fooled by the disguises, but researchers at China’s Wolong Panda reserve in Sichuan Province, say that captive-bred cubs must live devoid of all human contact if they are to have any chance of survival.

Of course the pandas are fooled by the disguises. They’re pandas. What do you think a baby would do if a panda in a human costume tried to grab it? It would cry and poop its pants. Okay, bad example. Well, a baby doesn’t need a life devoid of all panda contact to have a chance for survival, but it doesn’t hurt.

A panda eats 50 pounds of bamboo a day and is too lazy and dumb to make new pandas. Oh no, what will the world do without them? Take your pictures while you still can, pandapologists.

Here is the only panda I like:

(Hat tip: Greg Pollowitz)

Jim Treacher