Christmas is just around the corner, and in honor of the occasion The Daily Caller’s offices have turned into a “Winter Wonderland,” complete with a tree and lights. We’re making our lists and checking them twice because even if Santa Claus decides we’ve been too naughty, hopefully mommy and daddy will come to the rescue. (Office coordinator Laura Baños wants a “Le Creuset Demi teakettle in Caribbean or royal blue;” relevant persons take note). But in the immortal words of Mariah Carey, “all [TheDC] wants for Christmas is you,” which, at the end of the day, makes for a kind of short list. So to fill it out, we decided to call around town and find out what’s on some other people’s Christmas wish lists. We trust you’ll find the answers as amusing as we do.
Betsy Rothstein, editor, FishbowlDC
I don’t celebrate Christmas, but for the purposes of this question, I’ll live it up. My wish might be surprising, but it involves Salon’s Alex Pareene. To have him take me as his wife. Maybe settle down on a small ranch, have a few kids, and a cat named Thelonious. Because he seems like a guy who’d think it’s cool to name his cat something really impractical. By day, the two of us would work cattle, repair fences, make big pots of beans, and engage in other ranch-related activities. By night, we’d sit together by the fire, working on the next 30 Worst Hacks list, thinking up really bitchy things to say about other working journalists. Kind of an ideal life.
Outside of Pareene, a mistletoe belt buckle would do.
Trent Lott, former Senate Majority Leader
Rockport boots and a jogging outfit.
Roger Stone, Republican political consultant
– The cancellation of Parker-Spitzer by CNN
– Legal victory by American Center for Law and Justice to block construction of the Ground Zero Mosque
– World Peace
In that order…………….
Jeff Kimbell, president of Jeffrey J. Kimbell & Associates
A 1970 lime green Plymouth Superbird with a 426 hemi, a pistol grip shifter and a chrome “Keith Olbermann Drives a Prius” license plate frame. And I’m not kidding.
Greta Van Susteren, host of Fox News’ “On the Record”
Christmas list? Sleep!
Joshua Green, senior editor of The Atlantic
Scotch …and tell Tucker to pony up for some of the good stuff
Dr. Laura Schlessinger, talk radio host of “Dr. Laura”
– UGGS with the top part knitted
– Old style fountain pen with fine point
– More antique watch parts for my Steampunk polymer clay jewelry making
– Always gift certificates for more yarn
– Really good marine knife for sailing
– New shaft for my pool cue
– SiriusXM in everybody’s car around the world
Bruce Mehlman, co-founder of Mehlman Vogel Castagnetti
World peace and Call of Duty: Black Ops, which I bought for myself in case Santa holds Hanukkah against me.
Alex Vogel, co-founder of Mehlman Vogel Castagnetti
Nancy Pelosi remaining as Democratic Leader, the gift that keeps on giving.
Luke Russert, NBC News reporter and co-host of “60/20 Sports”
An agreement by the NFLPA and NFL owners on a new collective bargaining agreement followed by a rational and productive draft in April by the Buffalo Bills.
Mary Matalin, Republican political consultant
I would like a local (New Orleans) buyer for the Hornets; my daughters to like their presents from Santa; and the always popular Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.
Michael Moynihan, senior editor, Reason Magazine
Considering that the gravid missus is only two months off from burdening the world with another Moynihan, this is the first Christmas in which friends and family are asking not what I want, but what the little tyke needs: Strollers, BabyBjörns, hipster onesies suggesting that our child likes The Ramones. But if I can be allowed a moment of selfishness, generous readers of the Daily Caller are encouraged to order me a copy of Letters to Monica by the late, great English poet Philip Larkin. As The Guardian explains, the book is “Nearly 500 pages of misanthropy, glumness, cowardice and hypochondria from someone both spineless and prickly”–perfect holiday reading.
Jonathan Rauch, Guest Scholar, The Brookings Institution
Mainly I’d like Xmas music not to start before Thanksgiving. Is that too much to ask? I mean, enough is enough.
I’d also like William Shatner to be in the next Star Trek movie, preferably alive.
I would like Congress to pass legislation deeming an open-collared shirt to count as a necktie between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
I would like the first R removed from “February,” once and for all.
And I’d like to see the return of sleeve garters.
Oh, and I want a new, profitable business model for journalism that supports labor-intensive, high-quality work. That might even rank above the Shatner thing.
Alvin Greene, former Democratic candidate for Senator of South Carolina
Alvin Greene action figure.
Douglas Holtz-Eakin, former director of Congressional Budget Office, president of American Action Forum
All I want is free markets, small government, strong defense and, of course, a KeithOlbermann.com-Cornell College Scholarship.
Gary Johnson, former governor of New Mexico
I never do the Christmas list thing. … I’m just not a Christmas list person.
Phil Musser, Republican political consultant
My tuxedo from the flash dance era has finally yelped surrender, so on top of my Christmas list is a new tuxedo to replace the nineties tuxedo that worked when I was 25 years old, that doesn’t work so well now that I’m 38. And second is a wet suit. I like to go diving, and I dive in the summer in colder water, so I’ve got a three centimeter wet suit on the list.
Barbara Comstock, partner, Corallo Comstock Public Affairs Strategies
A Blessed season for our troops and their families; snow on Christmas eve (but just a nice dusting so that VDOT workers will enjoy their Christmas too); health and happiness for my family who will all be with us (and hopefully grandchildren on the way after the 1st wedding of son #1); a little sleep; and a Christmas dinner of which the food police would not approve.
Michael Meece, Chief of Staff to George W. Bush
Other than a mention in your holiday feature, the only other item on my Christmas list is an iPad so I can show off the Deluxe eBook Edition of Decision Points.
Michael Hayden, former CIA director and NSA director
1) Time off with the family. Retirement from government has not meant retirement. Life is still busy.
2) Enough legs (and time to train) for one more marathon
3) And would also ask Santa to remember all those keeping us safe, especially those in the intelligence community who achieve all that they achieve in silence and anonymity.
Ed Crane, founder and president of the Cato Institute
I hope Santa puts a copy of the United States Constitution in the stocking of every congresscritter, with the 10th Amendment highlighted in yellow.
Alex Castellanos, Republican political media consultant
There is very little on my Christmas wish list. Barack Obama is already giving Republicans everything they want.
Ingrid Newkirk, PETA founder, author of ‘Making Kind Choices’
That everyone would discover the joy of soy: From soy “pig’s” ears for dog chew toy gifts (I’m sending some this week to Bo Obama in a holiday basket) to soy nog and soy roast as a holiday feast centerpiece, all I wish is that everyone knew how good it is, for the animals, and, when it comes to food, for your taste buds and your arteries.
“Ho, ho, ho, faux!” meaning when shopping, choosing fake over snake for belts and bags, fleece collars that let real lambs keep prancing, and pleather versus leather boots and jackets. In other words, everything that brings some peace on earth to all living beings.
The discovery that Osama bin Laden has been providing the ammunition for Sarah Palin’s moose gun.
Ginni Thomas, founder and president of Liberty Central
New principled Members who do not get coopted!
Fred Karger, 2012 potential Republican presidential candidate
Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
An invitation to the GOP Presidential debates
Heavy Winter coat for New Hampshire and Iowa
Peace and a safe return home for our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq
Joseph Farah, editor-in-chief, WorldNetDaily
I’m hoping Santa, or Julian Assange, will be able to give me a copy of Barack Obama’s long-form birth certificate.
Deroy Murdock, syndicated columnist for Scripps-Howard news service
For Christmas, I want some nice new clothes. But first, I need a bigger closet in which to hold them. And also, a bigger apartment to hold my bigger closet. I wish my friends more free time to do fun things. I hope they invite me to join them. I wish Congressional Republicans strong guts and firm spines, so that they will stand up for freedom and free markets rather than a re-run of the shameful spendthriftness and big-government expansionism of the reprehensible Bush-Rove years. I also wish the American people a long respite from the vacuity and shallowness of Twitter, the Kardashians, the Situation, Lady Gaga, and everything else that is turning this country into the United States of Trivia. I wish the world a year free of the terror and mayhem of al-Qaeda, Kim Jong Il, and their pals. Finally, I wish Wikileak’s Julian Assange and US Army Private Brad Manning (his chief source) prompt appearances before a firing squad. Merry Christmas!
Rob McDowell, FCC Commissioner
“I wish that either the appellate courts or Congress would overturn the FCC’s attempt to regulate Internet network management. Actually, not to be greedy, but I wish for BOTH Congress AND the courts to overturn the FCC, just to be safe.”
Denise Austen, exercise guru
I want a new tennis racquet to play with my husband and my youngest daughter, Katie, who is really into it.
Tom Donohue, president and CEO, U.S. Chamber of Commerce (via Chamber spokesperson J.P. Fielder)
I believe Tom Donohue has one main request for Christmas, “an olive branch.”
He also is asking for three free trade agreements, 20 million jobs created and more certainty for businesses.