According to Craigslist’s ‘Missed Connections,’ CPAC attendees not looking for love

Jeff Winkler Contributor
Font Size:

Where was the love at this year’s Conservative Political Action Conference?

Held over the course of several Valentine’s Day eves, CPAC is often labeled as the “Conservative Woodstock.” At the very least, that should mean fiscally responsible love and experimenting with illicit substances (like Ron Paul and Gary Johnson).

Despite all these promising factors, as well as the vigorous debate aroused by GOProud’s involvement, there were few Craigslist “Missed Connections” at the event.

For the uninitiated, “Missed Connections” is the place to post the wistful remembrances of love’s fleeting embrace. Maybe you didn’t have the courage to talk to that stranger in the coffee shop. Maybe your eyes met just as she exited the train. Maybe you forgot to get their name or number because 13 tequila shots really is one tequila shot too many.

In Washington, the star-crossed gazing frequently occurs at politically-oriented events. Nothing says love-at-first-sight like: “Saw your eyes sparkle as Paul Ryan explained a deficit graph during a House sub-subcommittee on Obama’s budgetary proposals.”

Less geeky (but no less sweet) were the missed connections at both the Glenn Beck’s Restoring Honor Rally in August and Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. After Stewart’s October rally, which reportedly attracted 250,000 people, there were about 42 Missed Connections postings, according to TBD.com.

Meanwhile, CPAC had 11,000 registered participants and yet, there were only two Missed Connections posted on Craigslist over the weekend. Perhaps, it was the fear that other CPACers weren’t clean on the account of a rumored bedbug epidemic at CPAC’s host hotel. That or every man was too busy slobbering over a leather-glad Dana Loesch to imagine other possibilities.

No matter. Here are apparently the only two heavy-hearted individuals to attended CPAC.

Red line after CPAC – m4w – 23 (DC)

Date: 2011-02-11, 1:42AM EST

Around 10:00 we were both waiting for the red line toward Glenmont. I noticed your blonde hair and purple flats and our eyes kept meeting. Your smile and eyes are so charming, I can’t put you out of my mind. We rode the line together for a time, and I caught a glance as you spoke with the boys you were traveling with. I’m thinking of you. Contact me while you’re still in town.

That message was removed not long after it was posted, which is either a really good sign, or a really bad one. The second, however, is filled with so much innocent longing that one can only hope this conservative crush turns into true rEVOLution.

CPAC to GWU – m4w – 18 (Foggy Bottom)

Date: 2011-02-13, 2:45AM EST

Zero chance that you will see this, but I guess you never know. We’re both GWU students who met each other on the Metro, on our way back from CPAC today. I was with a friend, and another guy we met at CPAC who was wearing all of those Ron Paul buttons. We had an interesting conversation about your Russian studies, how I am a native speaker, campus housing, and college Republican politics. I found you to be a dignified, intelligent, and very attractive Southern lady, who had my attention. Really wish I had asked for your name before we parted ways outside of your dorm, so we could get to know each other better. If you are actually reading this, and are interested, send me a reply with the name of your dorm (so I’ll know it is you). I know this sounds corny, but it would truly be a Valentine’s miracle!

To the two boys writing their own virtual message in a bottle: Let The Daily Caller know if you had any luck. There may be a dinner and a movie in it for you.

After all, Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” is coming out soon. Nothing says “soul mates” like Objectivism.

Email Jeff Winkler and follow him on Twitter