Charlie Sheen’s rambling radio interview: ‘I’m an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you’ [VIDEO]

Laura Donovan Contributor
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Actor Charlie Sheen unloaded during an incoherent radio interview with Alex Jones on Thursday, claiming he doesn’t get enough credit from “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre.

“There’s something this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine — yeah, that’s [Chuck Lorre’s] real name — mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro,” Sheen said. “Check it, Alex: I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he’s above the law. Well, you’ve been warned, dude, bring it.”

“I violently hate Chaim Levine [Chuck Lorre]. He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a pussy punk that I’d never want to be like,” Sheen told TMZ on Thursday. “That’s me being polite.”

Sheen referred to the women in his life as “the goddesses.”

“I don’t believe the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must choose the best choice available, right?” Sheen said.

Among many other things, Sheen slammed “bible grippers,” haters with “ugly wives and ugly children,” and Alcoholics Anonymous.

“Look what I’m dealing with, man. I’m dealing with fools and trolls,” Sheen said. “I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’ Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show.”

Sheen asserts that his sole addiction is victory and that no one has the right to judge him.

“The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent,” Sheen said.

Though he recently underwent a rehab stint, Sheen is certain he has cured his substance issues.

“I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I’m done … you don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun. I’m gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world,” Sheen said.

“I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips, most of the time, and this includes naps,” Sheen said. “I’m an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”