Hello. Did you miss me? Well, too bad.
What a week I missed, huh? I was hoping I had ridden out the Charlie Sheen wave, but no such luck. Oh well. Here goes: Tiger blood! Winning! I’m an adonis chupacabra warrior warlord warlock, bro! Et cetera! Wow, no wonder America is on the edge of its seat. That whole thing was kind of fun to watch for a couple of days, but now that we’re in the boring webcast phase, is it alright to go back to not caring what that guy says or does? Okay good.
Last week also marked the debut of Kausfiles at the Daily Caller, so be sure to check that out if you haven’t yet. Mickey Kaus has left Newsweek just as the magazine begins its bold new Tina Brown era:
Don’t all sprint to the newsstand at once, folks. “Women Make Lousy Men,” reveals Kathleen Parker. Obviously she didn’t leave CNN for a spot on The Rachel Maddow Show. (P.S. Mickey, who may
or may not be bitter about the split, opines about the, ahem, new mag: “The general impression: staleness, meaning a lack of both a) editorial imagination and b) news. Readers could be forgiven for checking for dust to make sure the magazine didn’t drop from the attic where they stored it around 1999.”)
So, what else didn’t I get to share my useless, ill-informed opinions about?
- The Oscars came and went. For the first time in the history of the show, the hosts cared even less than the audience.
- Although that time-honored ceremony did give Huckabee an opportunity for his own little Murphy Brown moment. If impregnating Natalie Portman out of wedlock is wrong, I don’t want to be alive anymore. Besides, she’s marrying the father, right? So the baby won’t be a bastard, just a child of divorce. That’s got to count for something.
- Union thugs and their fans continued to scream and yell and tell lies in Wisconsin, revealing the shallow fraud that is The New Civility. Just when you think they can’t make themselves look any worse, Michael Moore shows up. He thinks unions are great… except when he doesn’t.
- Speaking of nincompoops and Newsweek, Andrew Sullivan announced he’ll soon be bringing his tireless search for Trig Palin’s afterbirth to the Daily Beast. He’s just asking questions! Here’s a question: Why does anybody read Andrew Sullivan?
- Perhaps most importantly, last week I discovered Axe Cop and Eagleheart. That’s pretty much all I did on my vacation, besides sleeping, eating, and nothing.
Okay, then. Back to “work.”
P.S. Regarding that Newsweek cover, my commenters want to know how Hillary is breaking any glass ceilings, considering she follows Madeline Albright and Condoleezza Rice as Secretary of State. Um, er, uh… third time’s the charm?