1.) He puts away his golf clubs.
2.) He gets a map of all 57 states.
3.) He sends Joe Biden out of the country until December 2012.
4.) He sends Michelle out to look for Joe Biden.
5.) He starts drinking more “tea.”
6.) He sends his “I Love Public Employee Unions” t-shirt out to the cleaners and forgets to pick it up.
7.) He starts looking around for that missing birth certificate again.
8.) He appoints a white male who didn’t graduate from an Ivy League college to a high-profile position.
9.) He’s the top bidder on eBay for a new teleprompter.
10.) He tries out his new campaign slogan “Obama Cares!”
Rod Pennington’s seventh novel will be out later this year and he has also sold two screenplays. In addition he is a prolific “ghostwriter” whose work has appeared under other people’s bylines in many major publications. He would tell who and where but then he would have to kill you.