Authoritarian libertine Hugh Hefner turns 85 this weekend

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Hugh Hefner turns 85 this weekend. Like the creepy guy cruising the high school hangouts long after he has graduated, Hef keeps getting older but the girls stay the same age. Toupees, and their latter-day counterpart, Viagra, maintain the illusion of virility for only so long.

But it’s not the chimerical picture of youth projected by the Playboy mansion that its former denizens have seized upon for criticism. Instead, Hefner’s harem has unveiled the Playboy lifestyle’s mirage of freedom as salaried confinement.

Nobody told Izabella St. James that sexual liberation came with curfews, monitors, and allowances. A former live-in girlfriend of Hugh Hefner, St. James has come clean on the dirty life inside the Playboy mansion. The Hefner girlfriends log-out upon departing the mansion and log-in upon returning. Security personnel monitor their movements, with a strict 9 p.m. curfew imposed. Weekly allowances of $1,000, and gratis plastic surgery, keep the ladies in line. The busty blonde reflected in the Daily Mail earlier this year, “Little did I realize that by moving into the mansion I was losing all the freedom I associated with the Playboy lifestyle.”

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