Politics

The things political figures have said about marijuana

Jeff Winkler Contributor
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Today is 4/20, according to the Gregorian calender. And if you abide – as the dude abides – by the “Long Count” calender because that’s the way the Mayans did it, chances are, if you still know it’s International Marijuana Day and are getting high as hell right this instant. Good for you.

Some great things to do when stoned: eat a mango sherbert, walk in the woods, have sex, listen to Sigur Rós or Grizzly Bear (for you old people, it’s kinda like listening to Pink Floyd or Beach Boys). You can also check out what American political figures have said about pot over the years. The comments are hilarious when sober, and can be hand-staringly perplexing when high.

Enjoy.

Bill Clinton

No, not THAT comment about inhaling. A 1997 Washington Times piece reported what Clinton told his daughter, Chelsea, about toking up:

When I was 22 years old in England and I thought there were no consequences, I tried marijuana a couple of times. But if I had known then what I know now, I would not have done it.

Imagine! If Clinton hadn’t smoked pot, he might never known about blunts. Which means he might never known about cigars…

Abe Lincoln

George Washington loved him some hemp, everyone know that. But it’s rumored(!) that Honest Abe might’ve had a wooden bong hidden up in that top hat of his, too. At least according to a “letter” via this “website,” which — true or not — needs to be quoted from:

Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp, and playing my Hohner harmonica.

Try it out for yourself but don’t forget your Mason jar of water. It’s hard to play harp with cotton mouth.

Sarah Palin

Back in 2003, the Mama Grizzly did something that’s often hard to do after getting high: multitask. With one sentence she managed to take a jab at a former president and coined a new ganja mantra, saying: “I can’t claim a Bill Clinton and say that I never inhaled.”

Oh, gets better.

Think you’ve smoked too much already? Well, as The Daily Caller’s Mike Riggs reported, the conservative that liberals love to hate also said potheads should be left alone when they’re smoking in the privacy of their own hot box:

“If somebody’s gonna smoke a joint in their house and not do anybody else any harm,” former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin said recently on FOX News, the fuzz should just leave them be.

Now, if you’re smoking a joint on the deck of a house over looking Palin’s pad, that might be a different story.

Gary Johnson

Too easy.

Clarence Thomas

During his confirmation hearings, the White House said that Thomas admitted to taking “several puffs on a marijuana cigarette in college and perhaps once in law school.” Maybe Supreme Court Justice Thomas was reminded of what happened to Supreme Court nominee Douglas H. Ginsburg after he admitted smoking on “a few occasions” during his Reagan-era hearings.

Responding to the revelation, Thomas said, “I think it’s pretty obvious that kids should know you shouldn’t even try it once.”

Well, it’s not that obvious, but maybe kids should just go straight for the blow — it’ll ensure they become President.

Newt Gingrich

When Ginsburg was up for his nomination, Gingrich said he had “used marijuana once” himself. However, unlike the crappy seeds-and-stems answer by other politicians that they tried it in “college” Gingrich said he took his pull in The Big Easy. Nice!

In 1996, Gingrich gave the Wall Street Journal an even better response as to why he and all his colleagues seemed to be one-hitter quitters back in their prime:

Smoking marijuana was a sign we were alive and in graduate school in that era.

Yes, nothing says “rad History Department party, dude” like taking one puff and stripping down to your primary documents.

Nancy Reagan

Just Say ‘No’

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Jeff Winkler