Beck celebrates bin Laden killing with cookies, confetti and a marching band

Jeff Poor Media Reporter
Font Size:

Glenn Beck nearly pulled a fast one on his viewers on his Monday show, suggesting he was disappointed in the American reaction to Osama bin Laden’s demise. But the totality of his reaction exhibited all the theatrics one has come to expect from Beck.

On his Fox News Channel show, Beck led off his show by suggesting as Americans we were better than celebrating the fall of bin Laden by celebrating with flash mobs. No, he insisted upon something bigger.

“By now you have probably heard that Osama bin Laden is dead,” Beck said. “Shot in the head by a fearless and very, very precise U.S. military special ops assault team. This is a great day in the war on terror. But as I watched all the celebrations taking place on the streets of America, all over America, you may have — and maybe I’m alone, had a strange feeling. You may have seen students jumping in the lake in Ohio, and rushing to White House, carrying signs and smoking cigars. As I watched these things happen last night, I couldn’t help but be reminded when the Palestinians danced in the street and passed out candy after 9/11 attacks, when they danced in the street over the killing of five American students and slaughter of a Jewish family. All of these things you know and I know were offensive. All of those victims were innocent. America, we are better than this. We are better than jumping in to lakes and holding signs and cigars. I think we’re better than that. I mean, why hand out candy? When you can have cookies and confetti — and a marching band! Huh? Yes!”

Beck later said he was disappointed bin Laden had received such reverence with his burial and asked what warranted that.

“This guy is not a Muslim – he’s murder,” Beck said. “So why the need to be so religious in the burial? I bet the non-radical Muslims everywhere are offended this guy was treated with religious honor. I spoke to a Muslim friend of mine who said the very same thing today. This is like Timothy McVeigh getting buried in Arlington Cemetery. He was a deranged killer.”


He had his own suggestion of what should have been done with bin Laden’s remains. Instead of the sea burial in line with Muslim traditions, Beck suggested a different dressing because, after all, bin Laden had committed numerous atrocities.

“Personally, I wouldn’t have wrapped him in white cloth. I would have wrapped him up in bacon and then I would have sewn him up inside a football and I would have buried him under the 50-yard line in the Meadowlands, you know what I’m saying?” he said. “It would have served him right. It would have been great for New York and I could sleep well knowing he spent all of eternity in New Jersey. The fact we went to such lengths to make the statement should tell you something about those who have perverted this religion and are inspired by Osama bin Laden. He’s a mass murderer and if we say — I’m thinking out loud — encrusted his body in bacon bits, well they would have flipped. They flip over a cartoon. This man has called thousands of innocent people. I’m sorry, when you do that you lose the whole respectful burial thing in my book. I’m more than okay with him hearing, ‘Touchdown Giants,’ while he waits for the 72 virgins in unusually warm temperature for all of eternity. But that is a debate for another day.”

The Fox News Channel host also offered praise not just for the team of Navy Seals that were reportedly involved, but for the entire military.

“Today our focus should be on the amazing armed forces,” he said. “The Special Forces, the Seals are getting credit for this one. In fact, Seal Team Six. But here’s a fun exercise – can anyone name the source that said Seal Team Six did this? We can’t find it. It’s reporters saying that. Look Seal Team Six up. They don’t exist, at least on paper. So we don’t know who did this. It could have been the Coast Guard. It could have been the Rangers. It could have been the Delta Force. We don’t know who did it. We do know this – it was the U.S. military. May I say to the military, thank you.”