Osama got 72 virgins and we get Obama’s 72 versions

Ron Hart Ron Hart is a libertarian humorist and author who can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com.
Font Size:

The vast majority of Americans agree that CIA enhanced interrogation techniques led to the killing of Osama bin Laden. But the question remains: Why is Obama’s attorney general, buddy, and chief “get back at The Man” thug Eric Holder still pursuing prosecution against those who made this happen?

Among Obama’s many hypocrisies and blatant political moves, this ranks as the most stubborn. What has happened in the wake of killing bin Laden, other than his seven wives updating their Facebook status to “single”? There has been nothing about dropping the prosecution of the CIA agents who were doing their jobs. Obama takes his normal time for an “I, me, my. . .” speech, saying he planned the mission, evaluated intelligence, and gave the order to kill.

Why do I sense that, if the mission had failed, Obama would have distanced himself and prosecuted the Navy SEALs? Applying the logic they used to prosecute CIA agents, will Obama and Holder launch a federal trial against those same Navy SEALs?

Interestingly, the Obama administration buried bin Laden at sea, which is the ultimate form of waterboarding.

I do feel for Obama; he cannot please the left. Bolivia’s president has called for Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize to be revoked. Don’t discount this; given Bolivia’s vast production of cocaine, its president exerts enormous sway over the Hollywood liberals. The Nobel Prize Committee must have seller’s remorse as they realize they gave the Left’s highest award to Rambo.

With his usual high-minded yet impractical rhetoric, Obama says about CIA enhanced interrogation, “This is not who we are as Americans.” Has the man met Americans? It is exactly who we are. He needs to spend a day at the Wal-Mart in Ooltewah, Tennessee.

It is funny how Obama, who campaigned against many of the policies he is now pursuing, thinks he can change the name of something and make it different. The War on Terror, which he escalated (not retreated from as promised), was re-named the “Overseas Contingency Operation.” Maybe he can reopen the secret interrogation prisons and call them “Free Eastern European Vacations.” Or he can resume waterboarding and call it “enhanced irrigation.”

He screwed up my plans for a new screen saver by not releasing the bid Laden death pictures. Perhaps the administration did not want to release the photos until they confirmed they did not kill Charlie Sheen.

Neighbors say the bin Ladens were quiet and kept to themselves, except of course when being shot by U.S. special ops. I am told Osama’s last words were, “So — you guys here to fix the cable?”

Bin Laden lived in squalor and drank cases of Pepsi a day (Death to American capitalism — except for the fine people at Pepsi). He also grew pot in his yard, which goes a long way toward helping us understand how he could tolerate that many kids in the house while drinking cola all day and watching TV — and why he could not get around to another attack in 10 years.

Some say he did not suffer. But he was living with 20 some-odd kids, seven wives and no Internet. Men, you tell me. I think he suffered.

We made Pakistan mad and politicians there said “America must pay” for this — which we did. We also handled the funeral arrangements and helped clean out his house too. Would a thank you be so hard?

There is a fundamentally different approach to “evil” between Bush and Obama. Bush said we would track down and kill bin Laden. Obama says we will nuance the laws and get back at political enemies by prosecuting Bush’s operatives whose techniques (which were legal) helped us kill bin Laden. Then, of course, we made all this right by giving bin Laden a politically correct and ethnically sensitive funeral at sea.

Osama bin Laden’s dream was to destroy America, yet what will actually kill us are the policies of the man we currently call the president. Spending our money for his political purposes, creating a dependency class of voters and prosecuting American heroes in the CIA in order to advance his agenda will come closer to destroying America than some old religious zealot confined to his house in Pakistan trying to get some other idiot to put a bomb in his underwear.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or at visit RonaldHart.com.