1.) Pakistan is really upset about the whole Bin Laden thing, wink, wink — Pakistan has been complaining that the United States violated its sovereignty by killing Osama Bin Laden. As it turns out, this is part of the plan. According to The Guardian, the US and Pakistan made a secret agreement after 9/11 that if we found Bin Laden on Pakistani soil, he was all ours: “The deal was struck between the military leader General Pervez Musharraf and President George Bush after Bin Laden escaped US forces in the mountains of Tora Bora in late 2001, according to serving and retired Pakistani and US officials. Under its terms, Pakistan would allow US forces to conduct a unilateral raid inside Pakistan in search of Bin Laden, his deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, and the al-Qaida No3. Afterwards, both sides agreed, Pakistan would vociferously protest the incursion.” So Pakistan saves face after Bin Laden loses his. Fair enough.
2.) Not All Muslims rush airplane cockpit — The rest of the Muslim world seems to be taking the Bin Laden thing as well as can be expected. But of course, there are always a few bad figs to spoil the whole bunch. The Associated Press reports: “The passengers sat stunned as they watched a man walk quickly toward the front of American Airlines Flight 1561 as it was descending toward San Francisco. He was screaming and then began pounding on the cockpit door… Within moments Sunday, a flight attendant tackled Rageh Almurisi. Authorities do not yet have a motive.” And what was Almursi screaming? To find out, you have to go all the way to the 9th paragraph: “Andrew Wai, another passenger, told KGO-TV on Monday that the wife of one of the men who took Almurisi down later said Almurisi was yelling ‘Allahu Akbar.'” Motive? What motive?
3.) Countdown until Olbermann fires back at Coulter — Saturday night was the Media Research Center Dishonors Awards, dedicated to “roasting the most outrageously biased liberal reporting.” And when it came time to make fun of Keith Olbermann, the name at the top of the list was Ann Coulter. As TheDC’s Jeff Poor reports, Coulter explained why she was there: “There are a number of reasons. First, of course, both Keith and I are girls. We also both went to college in Ithaca, N.Y. I went to the Ivy League Cornell School of Arts and Sciences, and Keith went to the Old McDonald’s School of Agriculture. I wouldn’t mention it except Keith is compulsively telling people saying he went to the Ivy League Cornell, desperate to have people think of him as a major egghead.” If you don’t follow @KeithOlbermann on Twitter, you should. It’s always fun to read his tweets after he’s been mocked in public by somebody whose opinion matters to him. And of course, be sure to check keitholbermann.com for all your Keith Olbermann news and information!
4.) Common lawless? — Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and if you have a problem with the following story you’re a racist. TheDC’s Neil Munro writes: “First Lady Michelle Obama has scheduled a poetry evening for Wednesday, and she’s invited several poets, including a successful Chicago poet and rapper, Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr., AKA ‘Common.’ However, Lynn is quite controversial, in part because his poetry includes threats to shoot police and at least one passage calling for the ‘burn[ing]’ of then-President George W. Bush.” Well, duh. Why else would she have invited him? Here’s the poetic genius in question: “Burn a Bush cos’ for peace he no push no button / Killing over oil and grease / no weapons of destruction.” Hey, at least it rhymes. Almost.
5.) WaPo managing editor encounters thought — According to TheDC’s Matthew Boyle, Washington Post managing editor Raju Narisetti inaugurated his private Twitter account yesterday with the following jewel: “Thought encounter of the day: ‘Would be good if our schools are fully funded and DoD has to hold a bake sale to buy its next fighter jet.'” That’s deep. Stay tuned for Narisetti’s next slightly reworded bumper-sticker slogan. Thought encounter: There must be some way to make “War is bad for children and other living things” even more pretentious and boring.
6.) Arnold Schwarzenegger to Maria Shriver: ‘I won’t be back’ — CBS News is reporting: “Bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, say they are separating after a quarter century of marriage.” Talk about a Raw Deal! Sounds like he’s had enough of married life and he’s Running, Man! It’s the End of Days for their marriage! See, because those are the titles of some of his movies.
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