Hammertime: The feds’ PLAN 2 totes txt u

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New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced last week that a new federal alert system will let the government text you when there’s an emergency. Flanked by local and federal officials, the nation’s leading Nanny Statist announced gleefully that the feds will have the ability, through a special chip installed by wireless companies, to send alerts about natural disasters, terrorist attacks, and missing or abducted children to the nation’s cell phones.

The chip will come installed in every phone by 2012, and will implement the government’s hyper-literally named Personal Localized Alert Network—PLAN. Cell-phone users can opt out of all messages but those from the presidential level.

We shudder to think of the mission creep.

A too-friendly message from the TSA:

The Emoticon Terror Alert System! Right now, we’re at nervous, frowny face. Be careful out there.

Homeland Security has something very important to tell you:

The IRS said it wouldn’t text, but it’s a little drunk and it needs you now.

Mary Katharine Ham