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TheDC Morning: Politicians like extramarital sex

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1.) Newt Gingrich sorry for being himself — Gingrich’s presidential campaign is off to a fine start: It’s been a week now, and he’s only had to make one humiliating apology to another prominent Republican. He called Paul Ryan yesterday and said he was sorry for calling Ryan’s budget plan “radical” and “right-wing social engineering.” TheDC’s Paul Conner reports: “Gingrich’s press secretary acknowledged that the former House speaker reached out to Ryan in a telephone call Tuesday afternoon, according to the report. ‘Newt apologized,’ Gingrich spokesman Rick Tyler said. ‘The call went very well.'” Ryan says he accepts Gingrich’s apology and realizes he misspoke. This is the best Gingrich can do to fix things, unless he can convince Doc Brown to send him back to last Sunday so he can keep himself from saying that stuff.

2.) Cain raised — Herman, that is, in the polls. TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports: “Businessman Herman Cain is the big winner in the latest Daily Caller/ConservativeHome presidential primary tracking poll, surging forward to become a top contender, despite generally being considered an underdog. This month’s tracking poll asked only three questions: ‘Who would be your top pick for president?’; ‘Who would be your second choice for president?’; and ‘Who do you think is the most electable in 2012?’… His debate performance seems to have helped him immensely. Cain jumped to the top of the pack in terms of electability, taking 13 percent of the vote in the tracking poll, compared to the mere 3 percent he got last time.” Many still consider Cain a long shot, but then, anything can happen and no frontrunner is ever guaranteed. Just ask Hillary.

3.) Still no problems with Obamacare, everybody — It’s strictly a coincidence that the more you cater your business toward serving Nancy Pelosi, the less you have to suffer from Nancy Pelosi’s policies. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle writes: “White House Press Secretary Jay Carney downplayed the significance of the administration’s approval of Obamacare waivers amid the uproar over 38 Obamacare waivers that luxurious hotels, gourmet restaurants, hip nightclubs, day spas and four-star hotels received in April in House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s district. In the Tuesday press briefing, he said the administration has approved more than 1,300 waivers from the health care law’s requirements, and has rejected less than 100 waiver-applications. The total of approved waivers ‘is not that much,’ he said, adding that the temporary waivers were granted to organizations that offer their employees relatively cheap insurance coverage, dubbed ‘mini-med’ insurance.” Sounds like Obi-Wan Carney is trying the Jedi mind trick: “These are not the factoids you’re looking for.”

4.) MKH sends SOS re: TXT, LOL — You might have missed it in the middle of all the other big news about Bin Laden going for one last swim and Arnold having a secret love child, but the government has decided you need even more government in your life. At a second’s notice. Mary Katharine Ham writes: “New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced last week that a new federal alert system will let the government text you when there’s an emergency. Flanked by local and federal officials, the nation’s leading Nanny Statist announced gleefully that the feds will have the ability, through a special chip installed by wireless companies, to send alerts about natural disasters, terrorist attacks, and missing or abducted children to the nation’s cell phones. The chip will come installed in every phone by 2012, and will implement the government’s hyper-literally named Personal Localized Alert Network—PLAN. Cell-phone users can opt out of all messages but those from the presidential level.” And MKH has put together a video depicting why this is a bad idea. Can’t wait for those texts from Obama: “hey guyz remember killing OBL? LOLZ! so anyway totes vote for me kthxbai”

5.) Politicians like extramarital sex — Arnold Schwarzenegger is having the worst week since that one time he had to lower himself into a big vat of molten steel. But at least he can take comfort in the fact that he’s hardly the first politician to have a kid he doesn’t like to talk about. TheDC’s Kate Robards gives us a slideshow of other privately paternal pols like Peter Orzag, Strom Thurmond, and of course, everybody’s favorite babydaddy: John Edwards. It’s like Bill Clinton says: “A stain on a dress beats a new bassinet.”

6.) Zach Galifianakis doesn’t like Donald Trump — Galifianakis, who prepared for his role in The Hangover by spending 10 years looking like he was suffering from one, used his latest visit to the Conan O’Brien show to put another boot in Trump’s teeth. Zach gave this delightful account of his attendance at the White House Correspondents Dinner: “Donald Trump was sitting nearby… Everybody was laughing at Donald Trump and it was the most beautiful thing, to have the bully of the world or whatever — it was fantastic. It was really great. I wanted to go up to him and go, ‘Didn’t you think any of that was funny?’ But you don’t want to engage with somebody that’s so grotesque.” Whereas when the President of the United States uses the bully pulpit to browbeat a private citizen who has criticized him, it’s beautiful, because he’s not George Bush. If Galifianakis seems like a bitter guy, you would be too if you woke up every afternoon knowing your career was inextricably linked with that of Bradley Cooper.

VIDEO: MKH totes luvz teh govt in her phone, LOL

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