Schwarzenegger, please!

Ron Hart Ron Hart is a libertarian humorist and author who can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com.
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As the press follows its president to Ireland to trumpet his “Irish” roots, O’bama will speak about the value to the U.S.A. of immigration. I suspect Maria Shriver should give the rebuttal.

On the bright side, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s actions have officially made him a Kennedy. At least the Kennedys did the country proud with the likes of Marilyn Monroe and others. Have you seen a picture of Arnold’s maid? Yikes, Schwarzenegger, please! Maybe the country really is in decline.

It is no shock that an Austrian ex-body builder and phonetically challenged Hollywood actor had dalliances. He threw gas on the fire when he became a politician, in which case it would be news if he had not had infidelity “issues.” The question is, does it really matter?

Ever since my grandfather told me that we Harts are descendants of Declaration of Independence signer John Hart, I have studied and been fascinated by the “signers.” And, I have news for you: they were all rounders.

From Thomas Jefferson (who fathered children with his slave, Sally Hemings), to the brilliant Ben Franklin (who “made the rounds” with the ladies in France for years), most were cads. But that should not diminish what they accomplished for us. In fact, the reason the Constitution is so well written is that the men who wrote it did not want to go home to their wives.

And what if there were TMZ or The National Enquirer back then? For 200 years, the country had been spared the indignity of the news that Thomas Jefferson fathered children with Ms. Hemings. Jefferson had to be thinking he was out of the woods on this and then our puritanical modern culture outs him through DNA testing.

Whether it is Clinton or Schwarzenegger, who wins? The man? The woman? The kids? The country? No one wins. And if the media are so worried about “the kids,” they would back off these types of things.

Personal lives should have little bearing on how an elected official governs — what they achieve should. Arnold did not do a great job as the “Governator” of California. I would elect Charlie Sheen if he could balance the budget, limit the role of government in our lives, and induce companies to hire. Three of the worst presidents of modern times appear to have had no sexual diversions: Carter, “W,” and Obama. Give me back Clinton, Eisenhower or Kennedy instead of the last two puritanical presidents, and I would be delighted.

Upon ending his term as governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger said he planned to make movies again, which may have saved the country from a Jingle All the Way sequel. So something good has come of this. Here is an idea, Arnold: I hear there is an opening to head the IMF. Note to Arnold, during the IMF interview, stress your ability to have consensual relations with housekeepers.

The politician in Arnold would spin having a baby with his maid as an “outreach to the Hispanic community.” Perhaps it’s more of a reach-around. But getting into word games with Schwarzenegger is a slippery slope. He may have told Maria Shriver (who, as a Kennedy, is no stranger to these types of scandals) that he had a kid, but she probably just did not understand his English.

I thought Shriver marrying Schwarzenegger was an attempt to breed a future generation of bulletproof Kennedys, but I have been wrong before. This latest kid might be the future unstoppable politician: he is half Latino and the grandson of a Nazi storm trooper, so there will be no borders he will not cross in pursuit of his goals.

And what is it with California politics and maids? Meg Whitman lost her race for governor for stiffing a maid. Who controls the narrative on important information about our politicians — major newspapers or Entertainment Tonight?

If you think the media are not biased, consider CNN’s recent scandal piece about politicians from Kennedy to Edwards. CNN never mentioned its own on-air “talent” — former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, who hired hookers. Wow, “fair and balanced”? Not so much.

Reports are that Maria could get up to $200 million in this divorce. That is Mrs. Tiger Woods-type money. If Governor Schwarzenegger thought he had already dealt with out-of-control deficit spending, wait till the divorce lawyer vultures get hold of him. Talk about deficit spending!

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or visit www.RonaldHart.com