DC Trawler

TheDC Morning: Al Roker blames you for tornadoes

1.) Palin-haters quizzed — Are you a liberal? Do you have a strong personal investment in the belief that Sarah Palin is stupid? Then John Ziegler has a question for you: “How exactly did someone who less than two years ago was mired in legal debt, had a family in crises, and was written off politically when she ‘suddenly’ resigned as governor make millions of dollars, write two best-selling books, lead a political movement that helped take back the Congress, produce a hit documentary series, endure an unprecedented media onslaught, and maintain her presidential viability, all while seemingly having her family now in a great place, if she is remotely dumb?” You know the answer, of course: Because she’s dumb. Duh!

2.) In other Palin news… — One of her top aides, speechwriter and domestic policy adviser Rebecca Mansour, finds herself in hot water this morning. TheDC’s Jonathan Strong reports: “A series of messages forwarded to The Daily Caller show a top aide to former Alaska Gov. and possible presidential candidate Sarah Palin mocking top political figures and even her boss’s own daughter, Bristol Palin… ‘Two words: Patti Davis. Okay three more: Ron Reagan Junior. Two more: Billy Carter. Doesn’t your family have one?’ Mansour said.” Ouch. That’s the part everyone will focus on today, of course. Just don’t remind them about Ashley Biden or Al Gore III. Families are off-limits except when they aren’t.

3.) White House just goes ahead and creates Ministry of Truth — What does an emperor do about the pesky peasants who keep pointing out his nudity? Something like this, according to Sam Stein at HuffPo: “The Obama administration has created and staffed a new position tucked inside their communications shop for helping coordinate rapid response to unfavorable stories and fostering and improving relations with the progressive online community. ‘This week, Jesse Lee will move from the new media department into a role in the communications department as Director of Progressive Media & Online Response,’ read an internal memo from Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer.” Because it’s not enough to have 99% of the media covering for you. Gotta slap down that 1%. To inaugurate his official White House Twitter account, Lee posted a picture of a Terminator skull for some reason. Is Lee supposed to be the Terminator now? Does he realize the robot was the bad guy? Does he remember what happened to its head at the end of the first movie? Or maybe Lee is hinting that he has an illegitimate kid. It’s possible he hasn’t really thought the whole thing through. His boss obviously hasn’t. By the way, can you imagine the reaction if Bush had done this?

4.) Obama drinks in Ireland, wrecks car — That headline was for White House Propaganda Minister Jesse Lee to respond to, rapidly. Here’s NPR’s glowing report about Barack’s visit to Ireland: “President Obama told a boisterous crowd in Ireland on Monday that both their country and the United States will recover from tough economic times, just as they have in the past… The president introduced himself, even though the crowd was already chanting his name. ‘My name is Barack Obama, of the Moneygall Obamas, and I’ve come home to find the apostrophe we lost somewhere along the way,’ he said… The president shook hands from one end of town to the other, stopping briefly in Ollie Hayes’ local pub for the obligatory pint of Guinness. Obama said he felt warmed by the Irish hospitality and warmer still after the beer.” Seems like an appropriate place to visit. He’s got money, and he’s certainly got gall. The other highlight of Barack’s trip to Ireland was when his limo got stuck on a ramp. Barack then gave a speech about how the ramp was dishonestly standing in the way of his progress, but it stubbornly refused to comply with his wishes.

5.) Al Roker blames you for tornadoes — What’s happening in your world this morning, according to Al Roker? It’s ending! TheDC’s Jeff Poor reports: “As the brutal spring weather continues to wreak havoc on different parts of the country, some are searching for a cause behind it, especially the tornadoes that devastated Joplin, Mo. on Sunday. On Monday’s ‘Martin Bashir Show’ program on MSNBC, ‘Today’ weatherman Al Roker had a theory on what’s behind the weather… ‘And, you know, look – yesterday, or the day before yesterday, we had the tornado in Minneapolis,’ Roker said. ‘We have had these tornadoes and earlier this week we had a tornado in Philadelphia. And so, you know, our weather, or climate change is such now that we are seeing this kind of weather not just in rural parts of our country, but in urban centers as well.'” The entire American news industry just got done laughing at some obscure crank who predicted the end of the world. Now they’re getting back to their own doomsaying.

6.) And now for the real news: Christina Hendricks says her breasts are real — The star of Mad Men has a message for all you mad women: don’t hate her because she’s bountiful. TheDC’s Laura Donovan writes: “If you’ve ever gone mad wondering if voluptuous Christina Hendricks’s breasts are artificial or just the product of good genetics, the mystery is over. The ‘Mad Men’ star explained to the Daily Mail’s You magazine that her naturally big chest has presented her with clothing challenges, but has given her something to be happy about. ‘If there’s anything to be learned from me, it’s that I’m learning to celebrate what I was born with, even though it’s sometimes been inconvenient. Having larger breasts has made it harder for me to shop throughout the years, but I’ve learned to love it.'” Wait. Hendricks was BORN with them? Her poor mother.

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