DC Trawler

TheDC Morning: Martin Bashir: Superpatriot

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— America’s #1 hacking victim had a very busy day yesterday. After a pair of bizarre, anger-fueled press conferences on Tuesday, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) tried a different approach: making things as bad as they could possibly get, in as many venues as possible. His first stop was an interview with MSNBC’s Luke Russert. When Weiner was asked if that’s his namesake shown in the now-infamous photograph, he said, “I can’t say with certitude. My system was hacked. Pictures can be manipulated. Pictures can be dropped in and inserted.” Which, if that’s what happened to him, would be a federal crime. Yet Weiner has not yet informed the proper authorities. And of course, it’s notable that he’s not denying it’s really him in that pic. Then he sat down with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, who asked if he’s ever taken such pictures of himself. His reply: “I can tell you that there are photographs.” He continued this theme in a softball (ahem) interview with Rachel Maddow: “Stuff gets manipulated… Maybe it started out being a photograph of mine.” So, okay, maybe he DOES take camphone pics of his own genitals from time to time, but that doesn’t mean he’s to blame for any of this. Never before has the phrase “limited hangout” been so literal. Oh, and he also found time in his busy day to stand inappropriately close to a female reporter and make a series of penis jokes. Anthony Weiner is not going to let this become a distraction, except for the “not” part.

— If you think sending that special someone a photograph of your erect penis is a good idea, think again. WaPo’s Monica Hesse asked a few average, ordinary American women — such as a lawyer in Washington, a porn photographer in San Francisco, and a “women’s sexual function” psychologist in Las Vegas — what sorts of pictures they’d most like to get from a man. Their answers: a made bed with rose petals on it, folded laundry, a clean refrigerator, a hand holding a pan that was just used to cook dinner, and a shelf of books organized alphabetically and by genre. So according to the Washington Post, women prefer pictures from gay guys. Lori Ziganto of RedState.com has a better idea: “FYI, dudes. Junk pics are *never* enticing. If you want to pick up a dame, send her a pic of yourself killing a spider or mowing a lawn.”

— Last week the New York Times Magazine did an adorable little Q&A with the left’s favorite “conservative,” Meghan McCain. Before the piece is completely and justifiably forgotten, it should be noted that Meghan emitted the following: “FAVORITE DEMOCRAT: I like Anthony Weiner, the congressman from New York. He has YouTube moments I find entertaining, and he’s married to Huma Abedin, who works for Secretary of State Clinton. I have to tip my hat to him for landing such a hot woman.” This appeared online on May 26. On May 27, Rep. Weiner’s world started to fall apart. Note to all remaining Democrats: If Meghan McCain says you’re her new favorite, DELETE EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY.

— TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports: “Herman Cain’s star is continuing to rise, according to a new Public Policy Polling poll released Wednesday that shows him tied for second place with Sarah Palin in the first-in-the-nation caucus state of Iowa. Cain is taking the nation by storm in terms of his polling results: following the first Republican Primary debate in Greenville, South Carolina, a focus group conducted by Frank Luntz declared him the unanimous winner. He led in the most recent Daily Caller/Conservative Home Tracking Poll, and continues to lead the pack in positive intensity score in Gallup’s polling. A CNN poll released May 27 had the supposed dark horse candidate among the top five, ahead of Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, and Tim Pawlenty.” Don’t get excited, libs: Cain calls HIMSELF a dark horse.

— When you think of the phrase “American patriot,” what’s the first name that comes to mind? Whose face is the first you see? George Washington? Yeah, right. John Wayne? Shut up. Be honest, we all know the only real answer: Martin Bashir. Recently the MSNBC host noticed that Sarah Palin’s tour bus has an American flag painted on the side, and he’s having none of it: “[Palin’s bus tour] all sounds like a wonderful commitment to American values and American history, but it’s nothing of the kind. In fact, the whole thing could be in breach of a federal law. Because the United States Flag Code establishes important rules for the use and display of the Stars and Stripes, the flag of the United States. Under ‘Standards of Respect and Etiquette,’ it’s made clear that the flag of the United States should never be used for any advertising purpose whatsoever. Yet that’s precisely what Sarah Palin is doing. She’s using the flag of the United States for her own financial purposes. She drapes herself in the Stars and Stripes and makes millions of dollars in the process. This has got nothing to do with the presidency and everything to do with filling her pockets.” No word yet if Bashir is similarly outraged by the upcoming Captain America movie, every single product sold on the Fourth of July, every other American politician ever, and MSNBC’s own advertising. This is why Martin is America’s second-favorite Bashir, right after the doctor on that one Star Trek show.

— TheDC’s Jeff Poor writes: “How hard is it to be an L.A. socialite with a net worth of $45 million who gets a lot of media attention? A lot harder than ordinary people may think, according to Paris Hilton. In a Tuesday appearance with mother Kathy Hilton on CNN’s ‘Piers Morgan Tonight’ to promote her upcoming Oxygen network TV show, ‘The World According to Paris,’ Hilton explained there’s more to the celebutante life than meets the eye… ‘I’ve really grown a thick skin over the years. And I’ve had so many things said about me. And it’s hard, but I feel like what else could happen at this point? Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me.'” Take that, Holocaust survivors. Guess again, 9/11 widows. When it comes to suffering, you got nothin’ on Paris Hilton.