TheDC Morning: Barbara Walters is a crazy old bat

1.) Weiner admits boner — Yesterday ended the week-long search for the shadowy hacker who made it look like Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) did something wrong. SPOILER: There was no hacker! (Surprised? Then how are you reading this? How do you manage to even feed yourself?) Within hours after Andrew Breitbart committed the unpardonable sin of producing direct photographic evidence that refuted Weiner’s claims — and confirmed Weiner’s sexting and body-shaving habits — the once-combative congressman told the world as little of the truth as he thought he could get away with. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle has a partial transcript of Weiner’s tearful-but-limited hangout: “I’d like to take full responsibility for my actions… To be clear, the photo was of me and I sent it… I am deeply regretting what I have done and I am not resigning.” He said a lot more than that, in a 30-minute press conference that seemed 10 times as long, but those were the main themes. Apparently, Weiner’s idea of proving he’s sorry and taking responsibility for his misbehavior is refusing to loosen his white-knuckle grip on the power that corrupted him into thinking he could get away with it in the first place. To him, the humiliation of standing up in front of everyone and being forced to tell something resembling the truth is punishment enough. Oh yeah, and he doesn’t think he did anything to violate House rules. We’ll see if Nancy Pelosi really means to go through with the ethics investigation she’s promising, or if she’s just saying that to save face. (Pun fully intended.) Let’s see: Sexting with multiple young women who aren’t your wife, on the taxpayer’s dime… Lying your boxer-briefs off about it for a solid week… Making a lot of trouble for the people who told the truth about you… If those aren’t violations of House rules, what’s the point of having House rules? P.S. Weiner led off by saying he sent that girl a picture of his erect penis as “a joke.” Ha ha, get it?

2.) BTW, Breitbart hacked Weiner’s presser — Try saying that 10 times fast! Rep. Weiner’s opening act yesterday was none other than the man who brought everyone there to begin with: Andrew Breitbart. A little after 4 PM yesterday, lefties everywhere were treated to the sight of their most hated enemy, standing behind the very podium where his latest “victim” was expected. What the hell was he doing up there? Well, he showed up to cover the press conference, and Weiner was 25 minutes late. As reported by TheDC’s Matthew Boyle: “At the urging of several reporters in the room, Breitbart took the podium away from Weiner before the Democratic congressman could reach it at his own press conference. He struck back against the mainstream media and Weiner for falsely accusing him of having a hand in a ‘hack’ of his social media accounts. ‘The media says, ‘Breitbart lies, Breitbart lies.’ Give me one example of a provable lie,’ Breitbart said on stage at the Weiner presser. ‘One, journalists, one. Put your reputation on the line here, one provable lie… You know what I would be accused of if I released this [as-yet-unreleased and reportedly graphic] photo? I’m doing this to save his family. If this guy wants to start fighting with me again, I have this photo. I’m not doing this for nefarious purposes.’ Breitbart then demanded an apology from Weiner. ‘I’d like an apology from him for allowing for his political protectors, which this was his strategy, to blame me, blame me for hacking,’ he said. After [Weiner was] pushed by several reporters quite a bit during his presser, Breitbart got his apology. ‘I apologize to Andrew Breitbart,’ Weiner said begrudgingly.” If the left ends up turning on Rep. Weiner, it’ll be for that. It certainly won’t be for lying to them. The mighty Iowahawk put it best: “If you claimed Weiner was framed, you either (a) believed it, or (b) didn’t. So you are either (a) stupid, or (b) dishonest.”

3.) Barbara Walters is a crazy old bat — Sorry, Babs, but it has to be said. As TheDC’s Jeff Poor reports: “On Monday’s broadcast of The View, co-host Barbara Walters went to bat for Weiner and proposed that the picture in question was intended for his wife and not for whom it was sent. ‘First of all, I have my own theory about why he took that picture, if indeed he did take that picture. This is my theory – this doesn’t mean that it is right. He is married to this beautiful woman, whom I know, who a lot of us know, who was the chief of staff to Hillary Clinton and she travels a lot. And it may be that he took that picture and sent it to his wife to say, ‘This is how much I miss you… ‘ Anthony Weiner, whom I also know, has a problem. He can be very sarcastic and very sardonic. And you know there are a lot of times you wish he would not say it. He is a good congressman. He has been an effective congressman. If Sarah Palin can still ride around on her bus and be considered as a possible president, this man can override this, stay in congress and just hope there is another scandal that will take him–” That’s where the transcript ends, presumably because reality itself began to break down around her, drawn inexorably into the black hole of her dumbness. If you’re wondering what Sarah Palin’s bus tour has to do with Anthony Weiner’s ethics violations — what possible connection they have, outside the misfiring synapses of a tired old woman clinging to her shattered dreams — so does Joy Behar, who ended up defending Palin. It was the weirdest day ever.

4.) Ann Coulter: Demon hunter — Breitbart may have gotten most of the heel heat from the liberal world yesterday, but Ann Coulter wants to remind you why they hate her too. Today she’s releasing her new book, Demonic: How the Liberal Mob Is Endangering America, and she talked with TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein about it. Weinstein has also put together the top 10 things in the book that’ll drive liberals crazy and the top 15 jokes. Which might be redundant…

5.) Katie Couric no longer hosting the CBS Evening News — That’s right: Katie Couric used to host the CBS Evening News. Now some guy you’ve never heard of before is doing it. It’s not like you were going to watch it either way. But don’t worry about Katie, she’s landing on her hooves. TheDC’s Amanda Seitz writes: “After leaving the evening news, Katie Couric will try her hand at a daytime audience. ABC News reported that just months after leaving CBS, she will join ABC to host a daytime talk show in Fall 2012… ‘It is tremendously exciting to have the creative freedom to develop my own show,’ Couric said.” Hey, isn’t that what she said when CBS put THEIR faith in her? Well, as easy as it is to scoff, Couric is only following in the footsteps of her predecessor Walter Cronkite and his long-running daytime talk show, Walter & Friends. Man, nobody could rock a cooking segment like ol’ Walter. “This brioche is heavenly… and that’s the way it is!”

6.) Today’s words of wisdom from Alec Baldwin’s Twitter feed — “Mel, Arnold, Weiner. Who knows what the deal is?”

VIDEO: #ScrappyHasLiedLikeCrazy: ABC News gets back at Anthony Weiner for dishonestly haranguing Jonathan Karl