TheDC Morning: Obama thinks ATMs cause unemployment

Jim Treacher | Blogger

1.) Obama thinks ATMs cause unemployment — No, really, he does! That’s not a joke headline. He said it out loud in front of the whole world and everything. On yesterday’s Today Show, Obama told Ann Curry his brilliant theory about why the economy hasn’t been doing so well since he became president: “There are some structural issues with our economy where a lot of businesses have learned to become much more efficient with a lot fewer workers. You see it when you go to a bank and you use an ATM, you don’t go to a bank teller, or you go to the airport and you’re using a kiosk instead of checking in at the gate.” That’s right, the Smartest President Ever just said innovation is a job-killer. His next step, presumably, will be to demonize the Republicans for making such deep cuts to the Department of Buggy Whips. Hey, why is the President of the United States blaming machines for unemployment … on TELEVISION? Doesn’t he care about all those out-of-work town criers?

2.) DNC = Dishonest News Critics — Are the Republicans responsible for CNN’s John King asking them such stupid questions during the debate Monday night? That’s what the Democratic National Committee is claiming. TheDC’s Neil Munro reports: “A DNC video used clips from the debate to ridicule the GOP candidates as out-of-touch with American’s economic concerns. In sequence, it showed Herman Cain talking about Islamic law, Pawlenty praising former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, Romney saying he will repeal Obamacare, and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich urging construction of a station on the Moon. The on-screen text declared that ‘The phrase “middle class” wasn’t spoken … Not a word about education … Most of the candidates want to re-fight the debates of the past … But at least one candidate had a vision of the future … The Republicans: What in the world are they talking about?'” Well, they were talking about the topics John King asked them about. As Hot Air’s Allahpundit notes: “In fact, one Republican (Romney) tried to steer grunting doofus John King away from frivolous questions last night and back towards the economy, and the evening’s big winner — Michele Bachmann — managed to impress even some liberals precisely by showing that she was more than the sort of hot-button caricature this dopey ad is trying to draw. Still, this is useful as a sneak preview of Obama’s wider campaign strategy if unemployment stays sluggish.” Which it will, unless we get rid of all those job-killing ATMs.

3.) Now you can play with your very own Weiner — Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) might be reconsidering a life in politics right now, but at least he has a fallback career: boy toy! The LA Times reports: “A Rep. Weiner doll released recently is so popular it’s causing loading problems on the website HeroBuilders.com. The Oxford, Conn., company, which in the wake of the death of Osama bin Laden released a Rambama doll (a mix between Rambo and President Obama), has also created G.I. Joe type dolls in the likenesses of Sarah Palin, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Unlike the previous creations, the Weiner doll comes in two styles. For $39.95 customers can purchase the standard Anthony Weiner action figure, but for $10 more, collectors can nab an adults-only Weiner doll that claims to be an anatomically correct version of the disgraced congressman … Because of the high curiosity factor of the gag gift that brags being ‘100% made in the USA,’ the Hero Builders website Tuesday morning either returned pages with broken images or a white page that simply said in black letters ‘Service Unavailable,’ a notice typically found on websites that have exceeded their monthly bandwidth.” Sounds like their sales graph is making a pup-tent. Finally: a Democrat who creates jobs.

4.) ‘Hope’ dope mopes after wife misspoke — Shepard Fairey is a “street artist” who has made a very good living by taking the work of others, changing it slightly, and selling it as his own without crediting them. You probably know him best for the iconic Obama “Hope” poster and its innumerable parodies. He’s also cultivated an image as an underground art ninja who goes out at night and puts up his stolen scribblings in public places, but that’s as fraudulent as the art itself. Recently a TMZ camera crew caught him at LAX and asked him if he puts up all that crap himself, and his wife replied: “Long time ago…” Fairey freaked out and started berating her: “What are you…? Don’t answer stuff. Please. Jesus … What is your problem? You’re not stupid.” She then ended the interview. Let’s HOPE they patch things up!

5.) Hef halts hitching hoedown — Good news, ladies: Hugh Hefner, his money bags, and his colostomy bag are back on the market again. TheDC’s Laura Donovan reports: “Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner announced Tuesday that fiance Crystal Harris, who is 60 years his junior, has decided against marrying him. ‘The wedding is off. Crystal has had a change of heart,’ Hefner tweeted of his ceremony, which was scheduled for Saturday at the Playboy Mansion. More than 300 people were set to attend the nuptials.” Reportedly, the January-December couple had a nasty argument over the phone. Probably over who’s hotter, Megan Fox or Clara Bow. But Hef hasn’t given up on love. He may marry again someday, but he’s still waiting for his future wife to be born.

6.) Today’s words of wisdom from Alec Baldwin’s Twitter feed — “My phone is tapped. There’s a charge for male escorts on my cc. Someone’s outside my window!”

VIDEO: DNC blames GOP candidates for answering John King’s stupid questions

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