DC Trawler

Jonnie Marbles speaks

Font Size:

Yesterday alleged comedian Jonathan May-Bowles, AKA Jonnie Marbles, tried to throw a cream pie at Rupert Murdoch during a hearing at Portcullis House. Today the miserable communists at the Guardian have provided the young man with a soapbox. Here he is trying to explain why he did it:

If you’re of sound mind, you might quite reasonably ask what possessed me to smuggle a shaving-foam pie into Portcullis House and throw it at (though, alas, not into) the face of one of the world’s richest and most powerful men. I didn’t do it because I wanted more Twitter followers. Simply put, I did it for all the people who couldn’t.

It’s not difficult to find reasons to dislike Rupert Murdoch. His reach is one of the most insidious and toxic forces in global politics today. The phone-hacking scandal, despicable though it is, barely scratches the surface of the damage done by News International. It is a media empire built on deceit and bile, that trades vitriol for debate and thinks nothing of greasing the wheels of power until they turn in its favour. What’s more, no matter what the grievances he wreaks on those he has never met, his power and money keep him forever safely out of their reach…

To be honest, I had not expected to get so far, but parliamentary security, with its machine-gun toting cops and scatter X-rays, is apparently no match for a man with some shaving-foam covered plates in his bag…

I had intended to unleash a wave of polemic as I made my move. As it turned out, the whole thing was far too weird for me to string two thoughts together, particularly as Murdoch’s wife rose from the chair to prevent and avenge her husband’s humiliation. As it went, I’m glad I was even able to make the accurate understatement that he was a “naughty billionaire”.

As I languished predictably in a prison cell later that evening, I contemplated whether people would understand why I’d done it.

Which is a valid concern, considering he doesn’t seem to understand it himself. “I threw a pie at an 80-year-old man because he’s rich and I disagree with him, and his wife gave me a right slap for it” might not ring through the halls of history the way he expected.

The comments in response to Marbles’ mumblings are overwhelmingly negative, and this one from “Corinthian11” sums up the general consensus:

Mate – no offence but I hope they throw the book at you, you attention seeking moron. I hate the Murdoch press – i hate what they’ve done to this country; i hate the way their tentacles have strangled democracy and have their pernicious suckers choking the life out of free speech.

But your actions might have derailed any chance we might have of bringing this nasty organisation to account. You gave the tyrant the sympathy of a great deal of people he wouldn’t have had otherwise.

I hope you’re really proud of yourself for your idiotic actions.

But Marbles is staying strong, tweeting:

I’ll see you all later. Those of you who think I detracted from real issues can now return to caring about real issues.

That’ll show ’em! Let he who is without sin cast the first pie.

P.S. The inevitable Taiwanese CGI account of the event:

P.P.S. Tim Blair has more on “the left’s new hero.” And then there’s this:

Tags : treacher
Jim Treacher