DC Trawler

What’s orange and smells like Bert?

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Bert’s nose. Why, what did you think I meant?

So, okay, apparently we’re all supposed to have an opinion about the semi-serious campaign to make Bert & Ernie get married. Because two dudes living together for 40 years must be gay or something, right?

On one hand, it’s pretty annoying that everything has to be politicized these days. Can’t a couple of kids’ puppets just be a couple of kids’ puppets? If you believe in yourself and know who you are, gay people, why do you need affirmation from the Children’s Television Workshop?

On the other hand, if you live in a place with more than 10 people, statistically speaking your kid is probably going to encounter a gay person in his or her lifetime. A Bert & Ernie marriage might help explain to the little tykes why some gay people are into collecting bottle caps and dancing with pigeons, and others are really dumb and have an annoying laugh. Our young people have to learn these things sometime.

On the third hand, Bert & Ernie have been wearing the same outfits since the late ’60s. How does that fit the theory? And if you’re so keen on the idea, how are you going to feel when Sesame Street gets blown up by Achmed the Dead Terrorist?

But mostly, it’s Friday afternoon and I do not care. Here is a video.

Tags : treacher
Jim Treacher