DC Trawler

Roseanne Barr is still alive

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I guess I knew that, not having heard about her inevitable suicide yet, but I haven’t really thought about her in a while. Not since she posed for that magazine wearing a Hitler mustache and baking “Jew cookies” in a kitchen oven. Because she’s edgy like that.

It’s not like anybody can remember the last time Roseanne said something that wasn’t stupid, but her latest is pretty good. She’s running for president, apparently, and recently she told Russia Today about her platform:

“Part of my platform is, of course, that the guilty must be punished and that we can no longer let our children see their guilty leaders getting away with murder. Because it teaches children that they don’t have to have any morals, that as long as they have guns and are bullies, they’ll win. And I don’t think that’s a good message. I do say that I am for the return of the guillotine, and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty… I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay back anything over $100 million personal wealth, because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they’re unable to live on that amount, then they should go to the reeducation camps, and if that doesn’t help, then be beheaded.”

Three things are clear:

  1. Whenever somebody advocates a “maximum wage,” it’s never less than what they make.
  2. Yes, the “reeducation camp or beheading” thing is a joke. Not a good joke, but a joke. And you can bet if a Tea Partier said anything like this about an opponent, it’d be a huge scandal.
  3. Either Roseanne Barr is turning into Ozzy Osbourne, or vice versa.

I can go back to not paying attention to Roseanne Barr now, right? Okay good.