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OccuList: The best of the rest

C.J. Ciaramella Contributor

As The Daily Caller combed through thousands of emails from the Occupy Wall Street listserv this week, our finds ranged from the boring to the nefarious to the straight-up hysterical.

Some of what we found was revealing, such as efforts to capitalize on the anti-capitalist movement, evidence of the organizers trying to intentionally “diversify” their image, and concerted media-training advice to control activists’ interactions with media. But along the way, we also found a treasure trove of amusing and downright bizarre messages from activists.

Submitted for our readers’ edification, the Daily Caller presents the best of the rest of OccuList:

Sometimes you have to kill a few turtles to make an Occupy omelet

Some activists suggested using balloons to make the Occupy camp more festive. When another protester objected on the grounds that the balloons could hurt wildlife, specifically turtles, one organizer let it be known that if a turtle must die in the name of the festive balloon revolution, so be it.

“Gail, I honestly believe that this movement is more important than some turtles,” the activist wrote. “The balloons are a great idea and really positive in almost every respect. If we can find an equally effective thing that’s bright and doesn’t pollute the environment or affect wildlife, I’m unequivocally for it. But if turtles must be put at risk so that people can have a chance of living under less oppression, I won’t lose any sleep.”

Though it remains unclear how balloons would free the oppressed, we’re pretty sure Comrade Stalin would approve.

Grab the bull by the horns and … what?

Part of any good protest these days is acting like a poorly-raised child. With this in mind, one activists decided the best course of action was making a spectacle of themselves and the famous statue of the bull on Wall Street.

“Every Tuesday or whenever people feel like it, violate the bull symbolically: have sex with it, fart on his face, read poems to it, lullaby the bastard, start a monologue (he won’t listen), inject deadly substances on his penis, or whatever creepy abjection you can think of,” wrote Alexandre Carvalh. “Tuesday we will have a media team to film you, but if you do it in another time, make sure to film that stuff and share it with the world!”

We’re supposed to be badmouthing the entire world, not each other!

David Graebor, apparently a veteran agitator, had some harsh words for the newbies on the scene: “rule #1 of all activist media work is you don’t badmouth other activists to the press. I mean I know a lot of you guys are inexperienced but this is beyond obnoxious.”

The revolution doesn’t have a set policy on Kanye West … yet

When rap star Kanye West appeared at the Occupy Wall Street, it led to a philosophical discourse on the lyrical merits of Mr. West’s lyrics.

“FYI fuck Kanye West,” one activist wrote.

“But he’s a lyrical genius!” countered another protester. “Who likes fishsticks?”

Corporations are evil. (This message was sent from my iPhone.)

We could fill a book with the amount of emails sent from smartphones, but here’s a protester talking about the amazing contributions large corporations have made to the ability of protesters protesting large corporations.

“I’m not up on the mechanics of this exactly, but most people have headsets and a lot of people have iPods,” one activist wrote. “Do we have the capability to do podcasts? One iPod could probably run a few sets of headphones if cheap headphone amps could be found.”

Speaking of which …

Check-in to the revolution

Even though Occupy Wall Street is supposed to be leaderless, you can still be part of the virtual one percent.

“Hey gang, #OCCUPYWALLSTREET and The New York Fun Exchange are now both on Foursquare,” writes one activist. “Who will be mayor??”

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