To paraphrase Bette Davis, our moms taught us to only speak good of the dead. Kim Jong Il is dead. Good.
Whenever a cruel dictator dies, an angel gets its wings. So why not have a few guffaws at the late Kim Jong Il’s expense? The world’s greatest golfer — really! — may have assumed room temperature, but that doesn’t mean the laughs have to stop.
So to dishonor this most accomplished of world leaders, here’s a Daily Caller collection of the best Kim Jong Il jokes of all time, and the best tweets of the last 24 hours:
10. “America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless… but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you’d put on the end of your child’s pencil.” (Jon Stewart)
9. “Kim Jong Il’s family has requested that in lieu of flowers, mourners please just be quiet and remember their place.” (@joshgreenman)
8. “The [Bush] administration says that taking military action against North Korea all depends on whether or not their plutonium has any oil.” (Craig Kilborn)
7. “I know crazy dudes who wear women’s sunglasses always die in threes, but did we start counting with Gaddafi or Al Davis?” (@badbanana)
6. (Looking at a photo of Kim Jong Il): “That is one angry lesbian.” (Craig Ferguson)
5. “Rahm Emanuel honorarily renames Chicago to Kim Jong, IL” (@RobertCurran)
4. “The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of his missiles seem to launch.” (Jay Leno)
3. “I’m confused: CNN says Kim Jong-Il is dead, but N. Korean press says he’s currently fighting a 100-ft. tall U.S. super-robot.” (@mrtimlong)
2.. “Former Secretary of State Madeline Albright said North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is, quote, ‘a pervert.’ When Kim Jong Il heard that, he said tell her to say it again slowly while licking her lips.” (Conan O’Brien)
1. “Kim Jong Il is dead but we still have to take care of Kourtney Jong Il and Khloe Jong Il before we can rejoice.” (@ThePresObama)
David is The Daily Caller’s executive editor. Follow him on Twitter