DC Trawler

Tired of the same old chants, Occupiers?

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Sure, you have a higher tolerance for tedium and a different concept of shame than normal people, but eventually you have to get sick of yelling the same boring stuff all the time. I care about you deeply as human beings, so I’ve decided to help you out with some awesome new chants to chant as you’re chanting:

  • “We’re smelly! We’re loud! Our parents are not proud!”
  • “Our concept of rebelling! Is riots, rapes, and yelling!”
  • “We’re the 99%! With some cash the unions spent!”
  • “What’s the point behind this fad? Mostly to get back at Dad!”
  • “Two, four, six, eight! After that, our math’s not great!”
  • “Hey hey! Ho ho! This phase is one we might outgrow!”
  • “The people! United! Deluded and shortsighted!”
  • “99% are we! In our tents is where we pee!”
  • “We’re nonviolent, we’ve got class! Watch your step, there’s broken glass!”
  • “Money’s evil and it’s bad! I wrote this on my new iPad!”
  • “‘You’re so violent,’ wingnuts moan! What about our Rape-Free Zones?”
  • “Corporate fatcats are our foes! Our solution? No one knows!”
  • “They closed our camp, it wasn’t nice! Who cares about some rats and lice?”
  • “Just like Woodstock, but with Twitter! Using cop cars as our $#!++ers!”
  • “We hate CPAC, yes we do! We wish we were winners too!”

Hope that helps, kids. Be baleful out there!