DC Trawler

Obama’s solution to high gas prices: scrape out your fish tank

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Everybody knows that Obama is not only the smartest president in United States history, but the smartest man who has ever lived or ever will live. And if you still doubt that, wingnut, you might want to shut up and listen to this. Washington Examiner:

President Obama admitted today that he does not have a “silver bullet” solution for skyrocketing gas prices, but he proposed alternative energy sources such as “a plant-like substance, algae” as a way of cutting dependence on oil by 17 percent.

“We’re making new investments in the development of gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel that’s actually made from a plant-like substance, algae — you’ve got a bunch of algae out here,” Obama said at the University of Miami today. “If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, we’ll be doing alright. Believe it or not, we could replace up to 17 percent of the oil we import for transportation with this fuel that we can grow right here in America.”

The Department of Energy (DOE) currently spends about $85 million on 30 research projects “to develop algal biofuels,” according to the White House, which announced that Obama is committing another $14 million to the idea.

Whew. And to think, you were worried. Obama’s got this one under control. Algae, you guys. Now that’s green energy! Who needs Keystone when we’ve got damp stones?

Obama’s remarks are obviously part of a concerted rollout of this cutting-edge technology, because today General Motors is announcing its new algae-powered car: the Chevy Mold.

What’s that? “Hey, whatever happened to solar power? Why did he stop pushing solar power?” That’s a really good question. Why don’t you shut up?

P.S. 5 Biggest Whoppers In Obama’s Energy Speech

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Jim Treacher